The voting public was aghast today to discover that a career politician has been lying and spinning the facts through the media in order to promote his own agenda.

In the first time in the history of the Labour Party, ever, a sitting leader massaged the facts with the help of The Guardian to promote a cause dear to his heart.

Jeremy Corbyn, who is currently pretending that he didn’t pretend to be unable to find a seat on a train, pretended to be unable to find a seat on a train so a Guardian photographer could photograph him looking like part of the Proletariat.

“We all do it.” Said Corbyn. “On this occasion I only lied for a little bit and not for very long. And anyway, it’s for people’s own good. I know what’s good for them, honestly. I’m the one with the answers, me. It’s me, I have the answers. It’s my turn!”

Other politicians who were found out to be full of shit this week, include Donald Trump who was filmed handing out vital supplies of Play-Doh for less than minute during a photo call in flood stricken Louisiana. It probably cost $100,000 just to fly his jet there.

If the choice is between the leader of the country sitting in a “First Class Carriage” (and let’s not pretend it’s The Orient Express, you can still smell the chemical toilets) and doing something productive or sitting on the floor reading a magazine. Cough up, there are bigger fish to fry.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.