Politics

Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent. The slogan was widely accepted as an accurate reflection of how life...

A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit. Speaking from beside his swimming pool at his luxurious Marbella villa, Ken 'Fingers' McKray, 54, an import-exporter...

Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972, the then Home Secretary Reginald Maudling ordered that the Sussex...

Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week. The council's initial idea of finding homes in the Outer Hebrides for...

The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime minister Theresa May have suggested. The sources confirmed that the government,...

The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means there are now only three UKIP leaders till Christmas. Stores across...

In a speech today Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith has revealed that bears have secret plans to defecate in the woods. In a hustings earlier he said "Under the Conservative government, the instances of bears...

President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived ‘pre-exploded, all in bits’. The billionaire had ordered the ‘top of...

The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified. The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be reintroduced in March 2019, is seen by many Brexit campaigners...

Three Labour frontbenchers have been sacked and a fourth has resigned after voting for a Queen's speech amendment calling for Britain to remain within the European Single Market. Fifty Labour MPs defied the whip...

A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake of national unity. The call from the Lancastrian businessman comes as...

A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.

Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald Trump’s freshly appointed chief strategist.  Trump's office has been inundated with...

Conservative MP George Eustice was allegedly out celebrating at a champagne breakfast this morning after deciding to kill a lot more badgers in order to feel better about himself. It's thought the extension of badger...

US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass character Humpty Dumpty to the newly created post of Secretary of...

Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.