Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad
The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...
Tim Farron tells press ‘I can’t wait to be in charge after election’
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron feels his party is heading for glory, glory hallelujah in the newly called June election, and that he is...
Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’
Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...
Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name
The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables.
It no longer...
What do people need money for? Asks man wearing suit borrowed from tramp
A man wearing a suit borrowed from a hobo went on national radio yesterday to suggest people should only be allowed to earn a maximum amount of money.
David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics
In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
First man to read entire Maastricht Treaty declares it “A Bugger’s Muddle”
A British diplomat who began reading the Maastricht Treaty on the 6th February 1992 "just in case" finished the entire manuscript on Sunday Evening.
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Diversify portfolio to survive inflation Tories tell poor
As news of inflation fears hits the headlines this week with pundits telling us that inflation will hit food prices the hardest the government has issued advice for the poor on how to survive inflation.
Talking Turkey; Leadsom Embroiled In Referendum U-Turn Debacle
Conservative leadership candidate hopeful Andrea Leadsom was remaining tight lipped this morning following revelations that she has 'pulled a u-ey' over the recent referendum...
Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder
This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.
During the murder, the...
Picture yourself in their shoes
A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...
BBC warns reporters against mispronouncing Leadsom as loathsome
The BBC's all powerful pronunciation department Tuesday issued a red letter warning to reporters over mispronouncing the surname of Leader of the House of...
Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less
In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less.
Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...
Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
