Justine Greening

Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”

3
In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

0
In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Theresa May

Theresa May shocked and disappointed by contents of freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box

5
Theresa May is said to be both shocked and disappointed this afternoon by the contents of the freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box. The box, made...

Tommy Robinson claims free Milkshake during Warrington Campaign

0
Pint sized, shouty, hater of brown people, Steven Yaxley-Lennon, better known by one of his dozen names 'Tommy Robinson' presumably to sound more British...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

12
Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After...
Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

46
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...

Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid

0
Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I...

I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger

4
What’s your favourite type of monger? Picture him: Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen...

Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview

9
Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

3
A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

Putin, Trump, British American Tobacco & Belgium New 4 Horsemen as Pope reboots Apocalypse

0
Trump, Putin, British American Tabaco and Belgium appointed new 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
brexit bill

Theresa May admits “Brexit Bill” scrawled on back of napkin

0
Prime Minister Theresa May today admitted that the 'Brexit Bill', allowing her to trigger the Article 50 exit clause from the European Union had been drafted,...

Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader

27
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...

IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...

0
Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS. The order was placed...
Theresa May

Theresa May announces “peace in our time” following historic call with President Trump

0
Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.

Green Party suffers rectal prolapse over Swansea Tidal Lagoon go ahead

11
News of the go ahead for the green energy scheme at Swansea Tidal Lagoon has set heads spinning in Right On Brighton Pavilions today. "I’ll...

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