Foxes Just ‘Scarves With Legs’ Says Tory Think-Tank
During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban....
Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me?
“When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday.
“Maybe it was that Lord...
Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls
Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K.
Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a...
Brexit voters furious at a British Court today
Brexit voters today were unsure who to be furious at today after a British Court as opposed to a European Court made a decision about the nature of British Parliamentary Sovereignty.
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House
Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.
UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp.
The announcement came after a social media...
Watson Denies Corbyn Car Crash Rumours
Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Tom Watson, has denied rumours that recent focus groups conducted by the party to determine popularity of alternative leaders involved simulated car accidents in which Jeremy Corbyn was involved in hit and run incidents.
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
Teresa May in Dogging Scandal
This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...
Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.




















































