Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform

0
Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr...

Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy

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Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...

Labour confirms 2018 party conference will be held in Mecca

54
The Labour Party has denied accusations of ‘Muslim appeasement’ at its annual conference in Brighton, after several eagle-eyed observers noticed that its conference banner...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

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An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...

Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something

Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic

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A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.

Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

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Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Guy Fawkes

Anarchist delighted Guy Fawkes mask is next day delivery on Amazon Prime

8
Protests and rioting have rocked the city of Hamburg this week in the wake of the G20 summit. A large police presence as a...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

3
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

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Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...

The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

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In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to...

Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War

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Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...

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