Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit
Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called...
Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
Amber Rudd launches investigation into NHS as ‘foreign worker’ stats land
At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny - except...
EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...
The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...
Farage to become economic migrant.
Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA.
Apparently...
Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing
Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button.
As cheers rang out across the nation it...
Parliament summoned for cross party reshuffle
An emergency cross party parliamentary meeting has been organised for 1:00pm today to try and resolve our broken political system.
With the Tories fighting each...
Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract.
Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson
Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...
Happy Christmas to our Sovereign Parliament and readers
On behalf of the Daily Mail, we would like to wish all our readers a very Happy Christmas. Or if they don't celebrate Christmas,...
Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong
MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him.
The angry parliamentary member...
Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool
Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...
Brutus advises senators to get behind Caesar
Marcus Brutus has urged the Roman senate to show support for their leader Julius Caesar.
Addressing the press at a conference outside the Senate, he...
President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
