Senior Brexiter demands white York roses repainted Tudor rose for sake of national unity

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A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn counterfeit poppy scandal

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There is outrage in many political and charitable quarters today after rumours emerged that senior members of the Labour Party have been selling Remembrance Day poppies and memorabilia to supplement their parliamentary incomes.
Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

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Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...
face palm

Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future

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Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...

Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol

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Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.
Cherie Blair

Tony Blair’s legacy like that of a modern day Churchill, confirms Justice Cherie Booth

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Justice Cherie Booth has ruled in a landmark case that the former Prime Minister cannot be prosecuted over the Iraq War. Former Iraqi General Abdul...
Wetherspoons

Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons

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Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...
Theresa May

Theresa May Reacts Angrily To Snowden Sith Slur

0
Edward Snowden, the famous whistle-blower and internet freedom campaigner, has angered unelected PM Theresa May (or May not but she's not going to give...
Theresa May

Theresa May announces “peace in our time” following historic call with President Trump

0
Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.

Tories to increase appeal to younger voters by disbanding

23
The Conservative Party have announced they intend to disband after this years party conference in Manchester. Political analyst Ecgbert Wonk said, "The last election showed...

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

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Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

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Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

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Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...

Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban

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International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party...
Tracey Crouch

New Minister for Loneliness reveals she’s feeling a bit lonely in Westminster

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Theresa May the UK Prime Minister recently announced Tracey Crouch as new Minister of Loneliness. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald's Political correspondent in...

Nuttall Lost Close Personal Friends When They Discovered He Was An Arsehole

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UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole. “People started to shun me and sometimes even...

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