Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake
A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today.
In a...
Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad
Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses
Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory.
The move could bring a much needed £89...
Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader
Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.
Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all
Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
Google crashes as 17.4m people Google Parliamentary Democracy
Internet search engine Google has been brought to a standstill as a reported 17.4m people searched for the phrase "Parliamentary Democracy" this morning.
The Daily...
Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week
The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson.
The denial was in response to...
Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced.
The officers, obese men dressed in...
Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama
Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.
New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers
Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.
David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks.
It's believed the replacement of Mr....
Government exempts itself from report on racism
The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals
The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals.
Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...
