Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

0
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off

6
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity. It's believed...

No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis

10
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.  “We have...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

0
A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Michael Gove

Gove is still bonkers, say experts

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Michael Gove decided to stand up for those whose lack of self awareness is pathological today.
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

2
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

0
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
Theresa May

Theresa May to meet voters to tell them to fuck off in person

0
The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least...
Spider

Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt

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A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole. Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...
theresa nay laughing

I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, but I destroy fields...

0
Reinvigorated Prime Minister takes back control; promises strong Tory programme to boost food banking sector "Listen up you detestable worms, you aren't going to get...

Burger King announce 126oz Presidential Milkshake for Trump visit

0
Popular scarfing establishment Burger King has announced a new super-sized 126 ounce milkshake, to be released on Jun 2nd in time for the visit...
Border Collie Sunglasses

Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister

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Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

2
Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

0
Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.

I am still relevant, insists Nigel Whatsisname

0
EU milker and former leader of has been political party UKIP, Nigel Farage has gotten all salty after the government refused to give him...

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