Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

4
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The...

Farage to become economic migrant.

0
Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA. Apparently...

Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet

0
The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

0
Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

18
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...

The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

0
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg named as Minister of Silly Walks

27
Jacob Rees-Mogg, famous for transforming the lives of the people of North-East Sunwontset, has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks. It's believed Theresa May made...

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

0
Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

0
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion

0
Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit...

Gavin Williamson declares war on schools

0
Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary. His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

0
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of...
The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

9
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...

Farron u-turns and joins coalition after McDonnell says he’ll let him sip his beer

0
"A coalition? No absolutely not we will not do it" said Tim Farron, earlier today at the Westminster bar. However, moments later the Liberal Democrat...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

0
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

0
Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...

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