May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson

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In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...

Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit

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Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...

World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling

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Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.  The current record was set in...

Former President of Gambia applies for Argos security guard position

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After decades of ruling over Gambia, dictator Yahya Jammeh has recently lost an election to Adama Barrow who, amazingly, used to be a north...

Anti-facemask campaigners in balaclavas thrilled about Austrian Burkha ban

2
In a welcome development for table thumping foam merchants from the far right, all face coverings have been banned in Austria. For years, members far...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

8
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.

Dirty Politics

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Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...
Refugee

New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers

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Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab warns against travel to Iran and other Scandinavian countries

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The foreign secretary Dominic Raab has warned British nationals not to travel to Iran or any other Scandinavian countries following last week's US airstrikes...

Breaching FCO protocol isn’t just Priti bad, Israeli bad

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From sitting Priti to up shit creek without a Patel Former Secretary of State for International Development Priti Patel held undisclosed meetings in Israel accompanied...

Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform

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Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr...

Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes

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The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.  It's...

Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level

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Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...
gavel and block

Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney

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As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...

Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom

1
Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...
Justine Greening

Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”

3
In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...

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