Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...

0
The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...
German Police Train Station

British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...

0
A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station. The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
Amber Rudd

BBC warns reporters against mispronouncing Leadsom as loathsome

14
 The BBC's all powerful pronunciation department Tuesday issued a red letter warning to reporters over mispronouncing the surname of Leader of the House of...
Businessman

Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator

1
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...

Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?

5
In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

0
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...

Philip Hammond apologises to women on cabinet for making sexist comment at ‘wrong time...

6
Philip Hammond has today apologised for his insensitive remarks about women by buying them all a jolly nice big bar of chocolate and a...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

0
In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...

New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...

0
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
UKIP

Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains

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Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections...

Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War

0
Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...

Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact

0
UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...

Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown

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There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...

Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.

1
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...

Michael Gove says Brexit is “like a box of chocolates…”

0
The Brexit negotiations have been tentative, at best, with British MPs doing their darndest not to get absolutely battered in the process. Unfortunately, Britain’s...

Corbyn’s reelection met with scenes of ecstatic jubilation

1
There were scenes of unprecedented jubilation at the news of the corduroy communist Corbyn's reelection at Downing Street today. A spokes-Sloan for the Tory Party...

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