Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Boris gets a turd in a box in Cabinet Secret Santa
We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers.
Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable...
Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US
In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...
Farage in critical condition after massive overdose
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...
A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station.
The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
Corbyn reveals election strategy, if I ignore it it’ll get better
As Theresa May surprised the country by announcing a snap election supposed Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn was nowhere to be found.
Only hours later ...
Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major
Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles.
Major,...
Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan
Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...
Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson
Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...
Neighbour dispute over building of boundary wall in garden
Two semidetached households in North Rochdale are currently amid one of the most notable disputes of recent years.
One of the neighbours, Don Trimple first...
Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies
A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it.
The...
Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit
Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today.
Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
