It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool at his Essex home after hearing that they threw out the case against Tony Blair this morning.

Barrymore, famous for saying “Arwite” and late night pool parties has put in an application for planing permission to add a second pool at his home after allegedly being overheard to say that his first pool is a “veritable soup bowl of murdered gay young men”.

“We expect that Michael will strike it lucky with this next planning application, I hope he gets it because he’s my kind of people. All those allegations about murderous drug fuelled sex orgies at his house, well you know, kids say the funniest things. The important thing is he likes my kind of music.” A lawyer for the completely innocent host of Stuart Lubbock’s sexual assault and subsequent drowning didn’t tell the Rochdale Herald because we make all of this stuff up.

There are three separate applications being presented with options for the pool to be positioned at the top, middle or bottom of the garden. Barrymore is said to favour the bottom.

The judge responsible for dismissing the case against Tony Blair has said. “Michael will probably get his planning permission. I’ve already received an invitation to the ‘Opening night’. The invitation says it’s a ‘bring your own bottle’ affair. If I go I’ll be taking a very small bottle, that’s for sure.”

Tony Blair is said to be delighted to hear that the case against him won’t be heard before the Supreme Court. “I was in a bit of a hot spot, and what’s a hot spot? Not a good spot.”