Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

The band will perform their seminal 2016 Hit Equality Street which reached 1,363 in the U.K. charts and 103 in the Albanian Top 100, and twelve likes on Facebook.

A spokesman for the Trump transition team told The Herald that “Donald loves Foregone Conclusion. The lyrics to that song Equality Street kinda spoke to him. Particularly the “bigly, bigly bongs” and the bit about picking up dwarves.”

David is keen for the opportunity to crack America as he’s keen to quit his job selling sanitary towels along the M4 Corridor, provided he can get a day off work.

Get monthly highlights in your inbox

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.