Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith Lords, murderers and The Sun readers.
As he uttered the proclamation the crowd errupted in jeers of pure hatred. “It was well good, like being a Trump rally” said Jack The Ripper, 78. “It was fuckin’ mint!” Screeched Sandra, a 43 year old housewife from Hove “Paedos shunt ‘av Play Stations an meat! Bring back the crucifix. Make Britain Great again!”
The mood of the day was not shared to the left of the political establishment however as a spokesperson for Jeremy Corbyn’s campaign, Sakib Soloman O’Reilly, later released this statement;
“Human rights are here to ensure that every member of society is equal. If someone is sentenced to life in prison for murder, for example, then we should be engaging with that person, not demonising them. In our 287 point Communist Manifesto we’ve outlined plans for better treatment of criminals including back massages and days out to the seaside which will be subsidised by taxing Tony Blair directly.”
Jon Wayround, the controversial “loop hole lawyer” who represented the likes of the late disgraced DJ Jimmy Savile up until his death gave some balance to the argument;
“It’s definitely a good thing. After all, why should we not be able to deport people who come here spreading hate and division like Abu Hamza or Nigel Farage? My main concern however would be an un-shackled Tory government stripping rights away from the people at the bottom of society. Well I’m not too bothered to be honest as it won’t affect me.”
