Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally “get Christmas done.”

“We’ve been oven-ready for months.” A spokes-turkey told The Rochdale Herald in an interview this morning.

“I’m just glad that we’ll be finally able to free ourselves of the shackles of advent and get on with the business of Christmas.”

“Once Christmas is out of the way we’re really looking forward to having loads of free range free time, fresh air and we’ll finally be able to get on with being brilliant turkeys free from the shackles of tyranny and other assorted stuff associated with living peacefully on a farm.”

“I’m told Christmas is brilliant. Don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely brilliant.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.