corbyn momentum twerp

Political satire not funny when it’s about Corbyn, says humourless twerp

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Taking the mick out of Tories is fine but leave Corbyn alone, according to Frank Lennon, a Rochdale Momentum member. "The Tories are evil and...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

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There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Boris Johnson

Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge

0
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...

Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as “transferable skill”

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Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson's success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

50
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...

London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event

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Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will...

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

2
Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

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Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...
Rees Mogg

Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion

55
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...
Houses of Parliament

Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue

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The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...
David Davis

David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks

21
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks. It's believed the replacement of Mr....

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

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President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

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In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...

Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad

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Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;

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