Theresa May

Whitehaven and Cumbria to Leave UK Launch of Cumbria Independence Party CUMFUK

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Emboldened by her landslide victory in the Copeland By-Election, new MP Trudy Harrison has announced that she is leaving the Conservative Party to campaign...
Turkey

Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”

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Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done." "We've been...

Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.

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With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced. Weighing in...

EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…

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Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Alex Jones

Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency

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Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.  Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

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A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...
Plate of Mince

Nadine Dorries replaced as MP for Mid Bedfordshire with nice plate of warm mince

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Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU...
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

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A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

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Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

Anarchists angered at police refusal to follow rules

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A group of Rochdale anarchists have been telling the Herald about the treatment they received at the hands of the German police at the...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...

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A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused...
Hang the Tories

Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...

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A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...
Ann Widdecombe

Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath

Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

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Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

I meant Hindenburg Disaster not Hillsborough Says Nuttall

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Paul Nuttall has sought to lay to rest the controversy over his claims to have been present at the Hillsborough disaster, initially by explaining...

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