Paul Nuttall

Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.

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Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday. Sir Paul was the first man to...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

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Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...

Mugwump? That hoofwanking spangletwat needs to stop spafftrumpeting says Corbyn

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Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'. Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language...
Obi Wan Kenobi

Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...

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Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We...
unhappy man

Emails found on MP’s pornhub viewer

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A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that...
Boris the Clown

Boris resigns to spend more time in storm drain beckoning to children

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Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys...
Boris Johnson

Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend

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Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

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Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Rees Mogg

Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion

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Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...
football referees

Football referees warned not to go against the will of the people

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Following criticism of High Court Judges 'interfering' in the Brexit process, the Football Association have decided to get rid of football referees. "We don't need...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

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A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

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Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Jeremy Corbyn

“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...

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Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Wetherspoons

Brexit Party Manifesto a Wetherspoon’s menu with curry crossed out with crayon

The Brexit Party has finally unveiled their much anticipated election manifesto ahead of the EU elections.  To much fanfare the document has been revealed to...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...

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A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused...

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