Unelected man demands unelected woman suspends elected parliament
As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit,...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+
Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+.
A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...
Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified.
The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre
Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management.
The centre, set up in 1770, has...
UK in shock as Boris Johnson steps down
The people of the United Kingdom took a collective gasp today, Wednesday 1st of April, as Boris Johnson announced he would be stepping down.
"This...
Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo
Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...
Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...
Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
