Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules
Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
UKIP call for Global Warming referendum
In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
Burger King announce 126oz Presidential Milkshake for Trump visit
Popular scarfing establishment Burger King has announced a new super-sized 126 ounce milkshake, to be released on Jun 2nd in time for the visit...
DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat
Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...
We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels
Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.
Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course
President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...
Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan
In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...
ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...
Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system...
ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement
Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics.
In an interview he...
Boris Johnson makes it perfectly clear that he doesn’t know his R’s from his...
In an historic address to the nation this evening, People's Supremo Boris 'BloJo' Johnson outlined the roadmap back to the new normality that opposition...
Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...
Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...
