Public unsure what to believe after Nuttall admits ‘Everything I say is a lie’

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In another reputation-busting move, Paul Nuttall has stumped logicians and shocked the wider world with the classic Liar's or Epimenides Paradox by saying; "Everything I...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

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Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...

In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless

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Albion; pleasant, fair and green In the year of our Lord, 2020 Dragons were few and seldom seen, Yet poor folk were a plenty   Though dragons were vanquished...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

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Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals

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In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all...

Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.

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Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...
Ann Widdecombe

Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath

Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

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British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Westminster

Unelected man demands unelected woman suspends elected parliament

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As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit,...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

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Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...
Lego

Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’

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Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were...

Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince

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The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

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Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...

Brutus advises senators to get behind Caesar

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Marcus Brutus has urged the Roman senate to show support for their leader Julius Caesar. Addressing the press at a conference outside the Senate, he...

UK in shock as Boris Johnson steps down

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The people of the United Kingdom took a collective gasp today, Wednesday 1st of April, as Boris Johnson announced he would be stepping down. "This...

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