Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

0
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...

London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event

0
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services

0
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services. In the statement, Chancellor of...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Theresa May

Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”

0
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday. May appeared to mutter the words during a...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

0
A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

114
Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...
Paul Nuttall

Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.

0
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday. Sir Paul was the first man to...

Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad

0
Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;
Houses of Parliament

Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue

0
The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...

Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat

Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

0
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

0
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

0
Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...
Westminster

Unelected man demands unelected woman suspends elected parliament

0
As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit,...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts