Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness

28
Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...
Samantha Cameron

Austerity horror as Samantha Cameron admits to sending her cook to Aldi

24
Samantha Cameron has triggered an outpouring of concern this morning with the revelation that she has had to send cook to Aldi. And it gets...
Trump

Donald Trump shocked Democrat voters also allowed to buy guns

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Donald Trump was horrified to learn last night that Democrats are allowed to buy guns after being rushed off stage by Secret Service Agents.

Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism

Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...

UK in shock as Boris Johnson steps down

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The people of the United Kingdom took a collective gasp today, Wednesday 1st of April, as Boris Johnson announced he would be stepping down. "This...

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

31
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse

6
Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...

Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets

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Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Johnny Love Island

Love Island Johnny reveals ‘I have the clap’ as bosses rebrand hit show ‘Syphilis...

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Love island viewers were last night in shock after it was revealed the island is to be transformed into a syphilis colony. The revelations came...

Gaucho steak restaurant chain latest to get burnt by borrowing to beef up returns

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Restaurant chain Gaucho, and its sister Cau, collapsed into administration this week, after it was steered into a series of financial mis-steaks Administrators have taken...
Baby seal

Baby seals used in making of new £1 coin.

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The bank of England and Royal Mint announced today that the new pound coin that entered into circulation this week is made using the...
Woman in Car

Woman admits she was more than a little turned on by badly executed handbrake...

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A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man's poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on. Speaking exclusively to the Herald...

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