Other News

In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for courses in fruit picking. The exciting change to higher education is...

Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.

Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The gang carried out the audacious snatch at lunchtime yesterday, making...

South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource". A spokesperson for Mr Musk, who has made astonishing breakthroughs in other forms of...

Archivists who until recently worked for the TV production Carlton have uncovered a gag reel featuring Roy Walker's real responses to the utter dingbats who featured on the Catchphrase show. "My team and I were...

Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the western world, says a "professor" of pro-disease studies. Ulysses Jennicks, of...

Tony Blair woke this morning to find himself in the enviable position of a second chance at his legacy with the announcement the clocks are going back not one hour, but a full twenty...

Archaeologists announced yesterday the discovery of a mysterious void inside the Great Pyramid of Giza and that initial exploration revealed what appear to be the plans for a complex financial scam. “The hieroglyphs are initially...

Ryanair have announced the cancellation of 18,000 flights. The cancellations affect 40,000 people with many Rochdale residents hopeful they'll be affected. A spokesman for Ryanair said, "Sure, we thought cancelling loads of flights would have...

Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its pupils to 'black up' for their annual play which this...

Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday with a majority of 14 votes. It is a significant win...

We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when precisely it was great. So we asked Douglas to do some...

Until LBC can find a suitable successor to Katie Hopkins her slot will be filled by a looped recording of Mein Kampf, narrated by Paul Nuttall. LBC's controversial move was decided upon as an attempt...

As we do every year, every damn year, we headed down to Rochdale Sixth Form College. Next to Hopwood Hall College, in what our councillors will try to laughably convince you is the “educational...

Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of love. The pigeons, who recently moved into a tree across from...

The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row. The soon to be unemployed Prime Minister and part-time lizard, Theresa May, was due...