Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer

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"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

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A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...
Woman walking through shopping crown

Rochdale captains of industry look forward to purchasing artisans at new Rochdale Artisan Market

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Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all...

Nobel Prize winning Physicist trying to delete U2’s album from iTunes

One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced...

Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.

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It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album. The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...

NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers. 

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NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ? "We needed someone...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

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The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an...

Herald Horrible Histories presents Pathetic Presidents

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Episode 1 - Pathetic Presidents. The Terrible Trumps. Welcome to the News at When. When? The 21st century, when one of America's presidents was a...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

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The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...

Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs

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A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged. Music fan Lennie Payne...
Rastafarian

Liberal Democrats secure vital Rastafarian vote

The Liberal Democrats' General Election campaign took a huge step forward this morning after they secured the vital UK Rastafarian vote.
refrigerator

Sales of refrigerators tumble due to British Gas price hike

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This week brought the news that British Gas are set to raise their prices again, effecting millions of loyal customers. This move will likely see...
Police Car

Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...

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Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

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Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
John Inverdale

Konta tipped to be “a solid 6” when John Inverdale’s 2017 Sexist Gaffes are...

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Finals Weekend at The Championships in Wimbledon is fast approaching and that can only mean one thing…the eagerly awaited 2017 Sexist Gaffes list from...

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