Purrverted Cliff Richard raped my cat
A woman has come forward claiming Sir Cliff Richard raped her cat while staying at her family home in Heywood.
The fresh accusations will come...
Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre
Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management.
The centre, set up in 1770, has...
Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...
Motorcyclist only warmed by the thought his organs may be put to good use
A motorcyclist braving freezing weather conditions to commute to work, was warm solely in his thoughts for a brief moment, as he realised that...
People who wanted our country back surprised to discover that it’s still here
Eurosceptic holidaymakers are swapping Corfu for Cornwall, Lanzarote for Llandudno. British travel agents report that Brits are going to UK destinations they never knew...
Mime artist finds way out of glass box
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box.
There was...
New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt
As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale...
Clarkson hater not bothered about GT success
A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was...
Government to encourage more online petitions.
Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system
Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began.
It passed through...
Legendary comic Tony Blair wins prestigious award
Tony Blair, one half of iconic comedy duo The World Leaders, has been honoured with the prestigious Lincoln Leadership in Comedy Prize with particular...
May To Choose Baby To Kiss During Campaign By Enforced National Raffle
Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle...
Apple to move to Battersea iStation
Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station.
Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck Corbyn tells press conference
Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap...
