Petition to slow trains to Birmingham to walking pace hits 70 million signatures
A petition to slow down trains headed to Birmingham from London has hit almost 70 million signatures in under two hours today.
“Why on Earth...
10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...
Web Removes Facebook From Xmas Card List
The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.
Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the...
Channel 4 GBBO winner to bake Noel Fielding into space cake and consume him
Television pundits were going mad this afternoon with the leaked news that the finale of Great British Bake Off on Channel 4 features the...
Ken Livingstone backs down over Nazi Zionism claims
Ken Livingstone has backed down over his claims that Hitler and the Nazis once supported the cause of Zionism- the aim of establishing and...
Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
The...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie
Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to...
Monkey With Typewriter Writes ‘Donald Trump Is An Orangutan In A Suit’
There was great excitement at the Royal Institute For Statistical Improbability today.
Beppo, one of the infinite number of monkeys with typewriters trying to type...
Ryan Air and EasyJet Shit Themselves as Government Look Into Banning Alcohol on Flights
Budget airlines are in a state of panic as the government task some Lord to look into the possibility that alcohol could be banned...
Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...
Buzz Aldrin says not punching Trump is his greatest achievement
Buzz Aldrin has suprised many today by saying that his greatest achievement is not punching Donald Trump. Mr Aldrin attended an event where the...
BBC Believes Last Labour Voter Now Extinct
Naturalists have accused the BBC of poor science after it was revealed the broadcasting corporation believes there are no more Labour voters.
The shock extinction...
Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast
Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...
New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve.
Chief...
People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.
A Scottish...
