TV producer just can’t quite find the right Kraftwerk song for Tour De France...
Local TV producer and sound editor has expressed 'exasperation' in his struggle to find exactly the right song by seminal German synth pioneers to...
“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s
In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of...
NYPD Target Leprechaun Community After $1m Bucket of Gold Stolen
NYPD are looking for a thief who managed to carry an 86lb (36kg) bucket of gold flakes worth $1.6m (£1.2m) off a truck in...
Something that hasn’t happened might or might not make something bad happen, clarifies Bank...
Something that might or might not happen could or could not send the pound plunging or not plunging and trigger, or maybe even not...
New transgender £10 note to feature Stone Cold Steve Austen when you tilt it...
Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner.
As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now...
Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car
The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...
Resting Bitch Face to be renamed Resting Just Sick of Your Shit Face
It seems that testing conditions, designed to mimic working in an average open plan office space, may have coloured the subjects' results. "It wasn't that their neutral faces were 'bitchy', just that even within a short time of meeting us, they were already just sick of our shit."
Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto
Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban.
This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
Nation Ecstatic As Dapper Laughs Finally Disappears Up Own Arse
Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick...
James Corden to star in Paul Nuttall biopic
International media sensation, corpulent bearded sex symbol and father of the year, James Corden is to take the starring role in a planned new...
Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old
In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects.
"Will I...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather
Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...
Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings
Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...
Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’
Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...
