Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

13
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends

0
Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends. Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

0
The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...

Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
Geraint Thomas

Actual grown up man wins race around France on child’s toy

0
An actual grown up man has won a really long race around France on a children's toy.  The Team Sky rider from Cardiff, Geraint Thomas,...

Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners

0
Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying...

Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo

0
Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...

Jimmy Young “Masterminded Thatcherism” says Released Documents

0
In documents now only released after his death Jimmy Young has been revealed as the Mastermind behind the social & economic policies of Margaret Thatcher.
Business

Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories

The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage. "It's just...

Olympic movement rocked by revelation that Russia has an anti-doping lab

News is breaking today that Russia, much to the surprise of the international sporting community actually has an anti-doping laboratory.  Whistle-blower Grigory Radchenkov, the former...

Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech

0
Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...
Latest Trump Campaign Poster

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

0
The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

0
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...
Homeless

Government announce £100m fund to eradicate park benches and electrify shop doorways

0
Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today. As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches...

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

3
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

1
In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts