Apple Sues Samsung Over ‘Shit Battery’ ?Patent Infingement

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Apple is to sue Samsung after the Korean electronics giant recalled its flagship Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after the battery repeatedly blew up during...

Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free

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Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

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Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon...
Brexiter

Means Testing Means Means Testing Means say Meanies

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Winter heating supplements for elderly people on low incomes are to become means tested, if the so-called Mean Party's manifesto promise is carried out.  In a...
The Pope

If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope

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Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
angry man

Study finds link between hair loss and racism. 

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.  In an in depth study lasting nearly...
Royal Mail

Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas

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As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...

We’re just going to f**king do Brexit, you lot look after yourselves May tells...

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The Prime Minister shocked the country today by forcing a kindly old lady in a blue and yellow hat that looked like an EU...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

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Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...

Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist

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In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.

Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike

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Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada. His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince...
iPhone

Rochdale iPhone owner awarded medal after not reminding everybody he has an iPhone for...

Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase...

David Attenborough found alive and well

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Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well. The news comes as welcome relief...

Corbyn electoral commission investigation for bribing one million media studies students

Jeremy Corbyn has apparently been put under investigation by the electoral commission after reports emerged that he has allegedly offered one million arts, drama and media studies students tax free bribes of £50,000 each to vote for the Labour Partyp

Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod

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The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.

Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims

Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...

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