Police

Amber Rudd confirms extra police will be provided from Magic Bobby Tree

1
The Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, said “The Met have deployed extra police to reassure communities especially those observing Ramadan." This is the fourth time...
Phil Collins

Phil Collins says 80s were his Coldplay years

0
Phil Collins has been telling the Saga trade magazine, Zimmer how he sees the 1980's as his Coldplay years. Collins told the magazine, "Look, when...

Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts

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Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
Doctor

Veganism can be cured claim scientists

Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...

Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge

Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

2
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...

‘Darkest Hour’ movie just two hours of Churchill shagging

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Viewers have reacted with shock after the new Winston Churchill biopic, Darkest Hour, depicted Britain's former wartime Prime Minister having sex for two hours...

Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s

5
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany. The...
Hospital

Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt

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Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt. The...
Roger Moore

Pope to make Roger Moore a saint…

0
In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today. The Pope was...

A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey

0
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
Liam Fox

Liam Fox signs first trade agreement with Mexican Cartel to import 1,000 tons of...

14
The Secretary of State for International Trade, Liam Fox, was thrilled to announce this week the first trade agreement for a post-Brexit Britain. The historic...

Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems

2
Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron. In a speech...

Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...

Thatcher to be resurrected on Halloween night to put the caring back into the...

1
The office of the prime minister has reassured the nation this morning by announcing that patron saint of Toryism, Margaret Thatcher, is to be...

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