Queen gives blessing for Meghan to marry Prince Harry

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The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane. Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of...

Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate 

Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

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As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...

Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat

Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

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Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...
Doctor Who

Gritty realism of Doctor Who ‘stretched beyond credulity’ by absence of penis

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Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet...

Remoaners trounce nimbys in self-interest cock off

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Earlier this year the Gazillionaire Tory, Zac Goldsmith, resigned from his post as MP for Richmond Park in order to cost taxpayers a shitload...
Royal Mail

Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas

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As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...

Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader

Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.

Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...

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The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...

Paul Hollywood slammed for attending birthday party dressed as Nigel Farage

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Great British Bake Off star Paul Hollywood has apologised after being pictured dressed as Nigel Farage at a fancy dress party. The 51-year-old said the...

Momentum Youth Wing nothing like Hitler Youth, insist Momentum

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The new Momentum Youth Wing that has been proposed will be nothing like the Hitler Youth Momentum and Corbyn are insisting. "Well obviously they're nothing...

Argentina demand the return of Love Island

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Britain has become embroiled in an unexpected diplomatic farrago as ITV2’s ‘Love Island’ draws to a dramatic close with Argentina demanding the return of...

Average household savings wiped out by demonetisation of old pound coins under sofa cushions

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The Office for National Savings released alarming figures this morning suggesting that average household savings in the United Kingdom had been all but wiped...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service

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Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...

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