Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...

Froom wins fourth Tour de Rochdale

Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The...

Monkey With Typewriter Writes ‘Donald Trump Is An Orangutan In A Suit’

There was great excitement at the Royal Institute For Statistical Improbability today. Beppo, one of the infinite number of monkeys with typewriters trying to type...

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

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Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

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ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.

Poll shows only 20% of American 7-year-olds believe in Donald Trump

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A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA...
Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

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Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
Businessman

We’re not doing anything dodgy with your data, says company renowned for doing dodgy...

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A multi-million organisation has insisted that there's nothing suspicious at all about the new data policy updates, despite them being completely and utterly suspicious. 'The...
Neuroscience

Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience

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It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience. The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...

Channel 4 to launch Halal-friendly version of Countdown

Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown. An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who...

Boris catches coronavirus despite consistently washing hands of all responsibility

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Finally, after what feels like years of writing about this car crash of a government you NHS applauding, social distance ignoring flag shaggers voted...

Make America Great Again

We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...
Police Car

Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...

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Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....

Safest pub in all of Yorkshire has been named

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A York pub has been named as the safest in the county. The White Hart, on Micklegate, has achieved the “zero bother” standard in the...
Harry Potter

JK Rowling Announces New Harry Potter Book

In a move sure to delight her legion of fans, JK Rowling has let slip to the World a new book in the series.

Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions

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Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...

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