Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

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Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Surprised Santa

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours

Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

Stoke returning officer opened wrong envelope: Nuttall real winner!

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Stoke's election Returning Officer was forced to admit to an embarrassing mistake when he opened the wrong envelope and declared Labour had won. "I was...

UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself

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UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
Postman

Postmen refuse to empty post boxes as ‘there could be anything in there’

0
Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers...
God

Man looking for God admits he would be easier to find if he knew...

0
A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like. Garry Bennett began...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail To Unveil New Passengerless Trains By 2018

34
Southern Rail have announced the latest innovation to their transport, passengerless trains. Following the announcement of a move to driverless trains, bosses have decided to...

Local party member unsure whether Tory website hacked or just total bullsh*t

0
Following Friday's 'sustained and aggressive' cyber attack on Westminster, speculation mounts as to whether the official Conservative party website has been hacked and vandalised...

UK Government leads world in stable door shutting contest

0
The UK government has taken the lead in the worldwide contest to shut the stable door long after the horse has not only bolted...

Nigel Farage launches the Nigel Farage Party

7
Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I...
Big Ben EU UK

Theresa May says Britain and Europe should come together as if in some sort...

0
Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit. The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told...
Game of Thrones

Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns

4
As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...

Nation Ecstatic As Dapper Laughs Finally Disappears Up Own Arse

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Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

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Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th...
Anger

Fictional article published too soon after imaginary incident

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A fictional article on a satirical site has been published too soon after an incident that didn't take place. The latest scandal to grip the...

Channel 4 GBBO winner to bake Noel Fielding into space cake and consume him

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Television pundits were going mad this afternoon with the leaked news that the finale of Great British Bake Off on Channel 4 features the...

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