Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties
MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...
Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a...
Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania
Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...
Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
Huddersfield Town veterans prepared for step up in pace
Senior members of the Huddersfield Town squad today confirmed that they have no concerns about promotion.
“I took some advice about staying fit for...
Poll proves delivering comedy through a voice synth makes it quarter of a million...
A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer.
The vote...
Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France
Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...
Sports Direct CEO burns millions of pounds in front of staff
Self assured fuck nugget Mike Ashley, CEO of Sports Direct, pulled the idiotic stunt at one of his sweat shops earlier today.
Keith Stitcher, a...
Asda Self-service checkout till beats Boris Johnson at Scrabble
Scientists from Rochdale College have developed an artificially intelligent self service till that beat Boris Johnson at Scrabble.
Dr Frederick Seddon said, "We were wanting...
Cliff Richard still not a nonce confirms BBC
Singer, God-botherer and long term bachelor for no particular reason is still not suspected of fiddling with young men, according to a BBC report.
The...
Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban
Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit.
This follows the New Year outrage...
Unelected man demands unelected woman suspends elected parliament
As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit,...
Lord Voldemort refuses to compare himself to any character in The Conservative Party
Lord Voldemort was visiting Hogwarts School today and was asked whether he was a fan of the Conservative Party by a student during a Q & A session in the Slytherin common room.
Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians
The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...
A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...
New transgender £10 note to feature Stone Cold Steve Austen when you tilt it...
Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner.
As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now...
