Exclusive! Keith Richards talks about 2016

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A bright New Year's Day and I am sitting in the fashionable Chelsea bistro 'Hereafter' waiting for Keef, as I know him, to arrive.  Amazingly,...
Theresa May

Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...

11
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research. Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...

Earthlings stunned to learn the meaning of the word ‘Liberal’

3
Following Donald Trump's election, the entire population of Earth has completely forgotten how to use the word 'liberal'. Despite the word meaning someone who is...

Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”

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Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
Daily Mail Stock Photo

Daily Mail wins award for inciteful journalism

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The Daily Mail Editor has collected another prestigious award, in a glittering events ceremony in the Dubai International Finance Centre (“DIFC”). Editor Paul Dacre...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

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Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

26
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

Apology

Apologies for the error in this morning's post wherein we referred to the reinstating of 'Hulture Secretary Jeremy Cunt'. This was a typographical error,...
Del Monte

Man from Del Monte faces deportation

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Amber Rudd has confirmed that the Man from Del Monte is to be deported. The man who arrived in the UK in the 1980's recently...
Music Fesitval

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

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Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...
Westminster

Voters must provide family coat of arms as ID insists government

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The government has been accused of the suppression of voters' rights after plans to introduce compulsory checks of a family coat of arms for...

Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline

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The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.

Streisand Needs To Pronounce Her Name Properly, Says Siri

Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces...

Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.

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X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening. To celebrate the new series we at...

Linkin Park’s poignant question answered

The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and people might not like the answer. According to scientists, who have been...
Ryanair

Ryanair cancel 18,000 flights following huge increase in customer satisfaction

2
Ryanair have announced the cancellation of 18,000 flights. The cancellations affect 40,000 people with many Rochdale residents hopeful they'll be affected. A spokesman for Ryanair...

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