Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
Conservatives horrified at ‘meagre’ income of BBC presenters
On Wednesday in was revealed to the public how much some of our favourite BBC Presenters earn, as well as some rubbish ones too.
The...
Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning.
Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Boss of insolvent Maplin vows to solder on
The failure of electrical retailer Maplin has shocked the market after fuse saw it coming, but is it indicative of the current state of...
I said ‘sack my cook & hold my calls’ says MP accused of sexual...
Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster.
Barnier, a...
Balding just 2 Gold medals away from on air orgasm
BBC sports anchor and part time Eddie Izzard lookalike Claire Balding is quite literally on the edge of making TV history by being the...
Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat."
Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi...
Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car
The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Farage delighted to be named UK’s top racist
Following numerous occasions where he was always the bridesmaid, Nigel Farage is now delighted to be at the top of his tree in his...
Don’t vote for a chaotic Brexit, says cause of chaotic Brexit
Loose cannon David Davis describes the scattergun approach to Brexit as "regrettable". The strident anti-EU campaigner wants the UK to cut the European cord,...
“NHS crisis just preparation for the zombie apocalypse and everyone should be grateful” says...
The underfunding and imminent collapse of the NHS is due to a little known government policy on the zombie apocalypse sources have revealed.
Zombiepreppers...
ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...
Scientists warn against wearing Ukrainian underpants because Chernobyl Fallout
Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.
University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles
The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...
