EU

EU condemns punchy politics

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After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour. Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...

Unfortunately, Jimmy Carr survives breakthrough surgery

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With great regret, surgeons at Kings College London have released a statement confirming the successful operation to remove a rogue dog toy squeaker that...
Corbyn

Labour plans to make unions transfer power to workers

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Large unions would be forced to transfer as much as 10 percent of their voting rights to workers under plans set out by the...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...

Trump using Martin Luther King bust as a door stop after returning Churchill to...

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Black Lives Matter protesters are up in arms after it was reported that President Trump is using the White House's Martin Luther King bust as a door stop.

Hollywood shocked as no Fast & Furious movie released this week after star’s arrest

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Hollywood bigwigs and film goers alike were left reeling by the news that the seemingly endless Fast and Furious franchise does not have a...

Safest pub in all of Yorkshire has been named

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A York pub has been named as the safest in the county. The White Hart, on Micklegate, has achieved the “zero bother” standard in the...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The...
Kelvin Mackenzie South Yorkshire Police

Kelvin Mackenzie is a bellend says South Yorkshire Police

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South Yorkshire Police have taken the bold move to publicly call the former editor of the The Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie a "complete bellend" over...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

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In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said...

That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86

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That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...

Man with giant head appears on Ch4’s Grand Designs

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A man with an unusually massive head denies he's up his own arse after appearing on channel 4s Grand Designs. The house featured the...

May Day, May Day, we’re going down, Conservatives nose dive in the polls.

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The conservative party proverbial plane has today fallen into a nose drive, falling by 10points in the polls over the weekend. The party's 3 top press...
Cross Eyed Man

The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...

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Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred. The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...

Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night

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Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...

Public unsure what to believe after Nuttall admits ‘Everything I say is a lie’

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In another reputation-busting move, Paul Nuttall has stumped logicians and shocked the wider world with the classic Liar's or Epimenides Paradox by saying; "Everything I...

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