Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France
Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...
New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break
Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event...
We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...
British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...
People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds
People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research.
The study, which...
Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means
Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her...
Last man smart enough to figure out how to set clock on Microwave dies...
The last man intelligent enough to set the clock on the microwave to the correct time has reportedly died aged 74.
The man, an astrophysicist...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
We either hunt foxes or your children says Theresa May
With the Conservatives promising a return of hunting foxes all over the nation face having to run from a vicious pack of slobbering, howling posh twats...
Heck release new range of Boris Johnson porky pies
Sausage giant Heck has hosted giant sausage Boris Johnson at their Yorkshire factory for the unveiling of their latest new product.
The Boris Johnson Heck...
Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...
The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government.
"He has to be gripped...
BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw
BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...
Everyone to star in latest series of Big Brother
In a massive change of direction, our government known for privatising everything for short term gain and long term loss has bought out Dutch based media...
“Messiah” Corbyn Denies Anti-Semitism as Links to ‘People’s Front of Judea’ Emerge
Jeremy Corbyn was today forced to again deny claims of Anti-Semitism after it emerged that he had "strong links" to the Palestinian terrorist organisation...
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of denials denying denials.
"We knew about Mr Trump's links to...
