Only 17 more sleeps until numpties stop saying how many sleeps until Christmas
The London Sleep Clinic has today confirmed that it should only be necessary to go to bed 17 more times before everyone regains the...
Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.
X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening.
To celebrate the new series we at...
Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader
Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.
Grammar police call for tougher sentences
Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There...
New Voting System Ticks All The Wrong Boxes
More controversy engulfed Rochdale Borough Council today as councillors in Rochdale's Labour run Balderstone and Kirkholt ward rolled out their new voting initiative just one...
Scientists warn against wearing Ukrainian underpants because Chernobyl Fallout
Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.
Donald Trump’s Golf Partner Outraged at Sexist Muirfield
Rory McIlroy, who plays golf with a man who openly questioned Hilary Clinton's ability to sexually satisfy her husband, has continued his criticism of...
Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers
In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this...
Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s
England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of...
Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP
UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...
Government to encourage more online petitions.
Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...
Cathedral City Cheddar not the best cheddar ‘just fucking unavoidable’ say consumers
According to consumers in Rochdale Cathedral City Cheddar is not the best cheddar, it’s just completely unavoidable.
A survey of all of the fridges in...
Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'.
"I wanted to play with...
Ant and Dec to serve 6 months in Wormwood Scrubs together as judge couldn’t...
Comedy duo and twin brothers Ant and Dec are to serve a six month sentence together in Wormwood Scrubs prison.
The unusual move has come...
Nigel Farage rumoured to replace Nigel Farage as UKIP leader
Nigel Farage's successor will be announced at UKIP's Bournemouth conference tomorrow but a party insider has let slip that his replacement will be Nigel...
