Other News

A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access. David Hawkins, 27, of Rochdale had spent the day of the...

Caught between "Moeen Ali spins England to victory!" and "Fury as Muslim immigrant takes YOUR place in the ENGLAND cricket team", the Daily Mail's editor was admitted to hospital suffering from advanced Editorial Conflictitis. The...

Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not the sleaziest MP this week after Keith Vaz, the former...

I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice

ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.

It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will attempt to win back the youth vote by inviting younger...

Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction of Britain’s credit rating by Moody's. The reduction from ‘mortgage potentials’...

In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume for men and women called Brexíte.  At the VIP studded launch...

Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys upon the children of the Uxbridge and Ruislip, by beckoning...

Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct Southern Train. Beavers, once natural to Great Britain, have successfully re-established...

The iconic Christmas tale has been edited by the new government department to 'instill a sense of fiscal caution' in the nation's youth. The new story will see a generous Ebenezer Scrooze frittering away money...

Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith Lords, murderers and The Sun readers. As he uttered the proclamation...

Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out of ten MPs lose sleep because of financial anxiety. The poll...

After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to get him laid. In social media posts from many years ago,...

"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not have as much money as Tottenham." A Rochdale AFC spokesman was...

We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers. Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable Phillip "Laughing Boy" Hammond did the honours. Wearing an improvised...