World book day sparked hate incident
An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale.
Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...
Mixed Reviews for Brexit Easter Eggs
The government’s official Brexit Easter Eggs have been flying off the shelves this week but many consumers have been left disappointed.
Betty Roffin of Rochdale...
Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...
Lukaku leaves second best club in Liverpool for second best club in Manchester
Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'.
Lukaku's...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
No Government is Better than a Bad Government, says May
Theresa May made the announcement after exit polls suggest that no single party will be able to form a government. "Let me be very...
Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time
There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop
In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...
Purrverted Cliff Richard raped my cat
A woman has come forward claiming Sir Cliff Richard raped her cat while staying at her family home in Heywood.
The fresh accusations will come...
Paul Golding Christmas Carol
Jingle Bells
My cell smells
It's gloomy and its rank
I only pissed some Muslims off
Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey
Jingle Bells
This is hell
I don't think...
Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.”
“It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories.
We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
Brexit means boo-boo for May’s haute couture
Prime Minister Theresa May has been pictured wearing some of the very best in British haute couture recently.
Her bold departure from her usual...
New UKIP leader had hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I”m not a racist, but”...
UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today by stating that UKIP’s new leader has undergone hypnotherapy to stop him saying...
Computer driven people are a menace say self-driven cars
Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend.
In a...
