Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins
28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
Game of Thrones is more Narnia With Knockers than Tolkien With Tits says Andrew...
Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones.
"Lord of the Rings is densely written,...
Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...
There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will have a baby.
The Prince...
Last PPI claimant found alive and well
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.
After years of...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge
Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...
Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections.
Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...
Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum
It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their...
Herald Horrible Histories presents Pathetic Presidents
Episode 1 - Pathetic Presidents. The Terrible Trumps.
Welcome to the News at When. When? The 21st century, when one of America's presidents was a...
Stubborn turd refuses to flush
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
Media finally find someone who didn’t already think all professional cyclists were on drugs
Shocking news broke this week that not everyone in the UK considers professional cyclists to be routine drug users.
Other media outlets this week revealed...
Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong
South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...
Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car
The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...
Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism
Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism.
"Clearly this is...
