Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years

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The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today. David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Theresa May

Prime Minister Hospitalised After Strong and Stable Seizure

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Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure. The incident occurred while...

Brazilian kidnappers fail to understand British man’s relationship with mother-in-law

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Bernie Ecclestone is said to have received the news of his mother-in-law's kidnap with mixed emotions this morning In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale...

Party with nothing to hide announce plan to close Serious Fraud Office

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Conservative plans to abolish the Serious Fraud Office has absolutely nothing to do with the investigations into rich Conservative supporters,said a spokesgrunt for the...

Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult

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A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford

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Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...

Facebook to release new emoji for General Election

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It's three weeks till the nation goes to the polls for the third time in three years and the media coverage is increasing and...

Rochdale Exchange in disabled parking shake up

The Rochdale Exchange shopping centre has announced new plans for disabled parking at their 800 space multi-storey car park, The Rochdale Herald can reveal. "We're...

David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom

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David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...
White Walkers

HS2 in doubt as MP’s raise concerns over giving White Walker access to high...

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Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg named as Minister of Silly Walks

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Jacob Rees-Mogg, famous for transforming the lives of the people of North-East Sunwontset, has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks. It's believed Theresa May made...
Wayne Rooney

Rooney arrested crying into bottle of 20/20 wearing Man Utd pyjamas

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My night of 20/20, Man Utd pyjamas and Steradent with mysterious brunette. Everton striker Wayne Rooney has been charged with drink-driving offences in the...

New dementia awareness campaign just GB cycling doctor trying to remember what drugs he’s...

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Using drugs that are not banned but enhance performance is definitely not cheating." That's what head of British cycling Zammo Maguire says today. McGuire was...

“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends

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Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends. Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

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The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...

EFL admits to buying its footballs from a petrol station on Rochdale

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The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale. The...

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