Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
Fillies to continue racing as outbreak confirmed as equine equivalent of ‘man flu’.
Initial reports that all racing in the U.K. was to be suspended have proved to be unfounded after vets have confirmed that the outbreak...
Michael Gove is handsome and intelligent according to new YouGove poll.
A new poll by Britain's newest survey company has revealed that Michael Gove is both handsome and intelligent.
The new company, YouGove, polls members of...
MP’s take well deserved autumn break after sorting out all UK’s problems
Westminster is demob happy today as hundreds of MPs pack their bags and await their family’s driver to come and collect them for half...
DUP explains kneecapping naughtier than running through wheat field
Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority...
Katie Hopkins replaced by audio book of Mein Kampf narrated by Paul Nuttall
Until LBC can find a suitable successor to Katie Hopkins her slot will be filled by a looped recording of Mein Kampf, narrated by...
Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Journalist who faked own death to replace Andrew Lincoln on The Walking Dead
Russian journalist, Arkady Babchenko, who was believed to have been murdered has turned up alive and announced he will be replacing Andrew Lincoln in, The...
Kent Experiencing Building Boom
Leaked document reveals the Government has begun a refit of four derelict seaside hotels in Kent for use as internment camps housing dissenters during...
Daily Mail Editor defends decision to describe a psychopath as an alopecia suffer, not...
Less than a week has gone by since a Daily Mail editor allegedly tried to defend his decision to relegate the Olympic Gold Medallist,...
Maggie May announces snap election
Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election.
"Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...
Theresa May says Britain and Europe should come together as if in some sort...
Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit.
The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told...
Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...
Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at...
Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals
Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up...
Scandal as Corbyn in the pocket of big elbow-patch manufacturing
Labour leader and beardy weirdy Jeremy Corbyn is facing a scandal this evening. It has been uncovered by the Herald that Corbyn has been...
UK Government leads world in stable door shutting contest
The UK government has taken the lead in the worldwide contest to shut the stable door long after the horse has not only bolted...
