Clown

Police advise public to ‘grow up’ over rise in clown related call outs

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Police call handlers up and down the country have been inundated with calls from concerned citizens in relation to a bizzare new craze in...
Man on Toilet

Theresa May accuses Corbyn of using ‘Fake Poos’ to attack the Government and damage...

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A damning Government report, and therefore it's Theresa May saying it, has accused men, and therefore by inclusion Jeremy Corbyn, of using Fake Poos to attack...

People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds

People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research. The study, which...
Patient

Paul Dacre hospitalised with stress after English Muslim cricketer wins man of the match...

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Caught between "Moeen Ali spins England to victory!" and "Fury as Muslim immigrant takes YOUR place in the ENGLAND cricket team", the Daily Mail's...

Daily Mail reveal African poverty is a load of old tosh

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The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick...

Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince

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The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.

Child refugees can stay till after they’ve seen NHS Dentist

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Teenage child refugees completing their journey to the UK were breathed a huge sigh of relief after being told they could remain in the UK until they could secure an appointment with an NHS Dentist.
Traffic Jam

Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking

There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...

BREAKING NEWS!!! Supreme Court Rule 6 to 5 in Favour of Parliament Vote on...

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In the last few minutes the Supreme Court have voted 6 to 5 in favour of Parliament having the final say on Brexit. Rochdale urban...

Trump Admits ‘I’d Actually Prefer Snowden To Farage’

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President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a...

Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst

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Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...

Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something

Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...

Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers

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The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....

Brian Cox Announced As New President Of Flat Earth Society

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Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn...
Rick Astley

Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you

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The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death...
Vodafone

Fine isn’t a problem as we don’t pay tax says Vodafone

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Vodafone chief executive Nick Jeffrey has apologised to customers for its poor service after being fined £4.6 million by OFCOM. Mr Jeffrey said the fine...

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