Billy Morgan

Winter Olympics: Billy Morgan carries EU flag instead of Union Jack at closing ceremony

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Snowboarding bronze medallist Billy Morgan carried the EU flag instead of the Union Jack at the Winter Olympics closing ceremony on Sunday. Morgan, 28, won...
Man holding a gun

America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...

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Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...

Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop

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 In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The...

Britain First Supporters admit it’s a waste of time trying to change their opinions

Die hard Britain First members have today confirmed that there is absolutely no point in trying to get them to change their opinions by...
fox cubs

Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high

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A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said "She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least...

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

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World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.

City Traders delighted to cash in on RBS free money Bonanza

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The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance...

Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform

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Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr...
Brian Cox's Flat Earth

Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error

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Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

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One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

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Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

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UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
Calendar

Government Announces National Nothing Day.

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From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day. Just...

Posh twit in gilet loses both arms to frostbite

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Henry Charles Chomlomoly has been telling us how he's lost both his arms whilst out sledging. Harry told us, "Cripes, got up this morning and...

Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers

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In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this...

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