Rooney: taking are cuntry bak
As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First.
During the halftime team...
Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
BBC in new accusations of bias
Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the...
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Famous Welshman will undergo treatment for addiction to public humiliation
Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation.
In fact, so ready is he...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.
A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer.
Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel...
Only 17 more sleeps until numpties stop saying how many sleeps until Christmas
The London Sleep Clinic has today confirmed that it should only be necessary to go to bed 17 more times before everyone regains the...
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...
Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps
Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps.
The Euro-wankers, already quaking...
Rochdale mum binge watched Netflix documentaries and is now blood spatter expert
52 year old mother of two Janice Longthorne has spent so many hours watching Netflix shows such as 'Making a Murderer' (seasons one and...
Dirty Danczuk disappoints again
Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
