Science Class

DUP pushes to rename school classes in ‘Science’ as ‘Magic’

0
There has been a legion of support for the move though, as it would spark pupil’s interest in the subject of science again.

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

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Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

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Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...

Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services

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In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services. In the statement, Chancellor of...
Theresa May

Theresa May Reacts Angrily To Snowden Sith Slur

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Edward Snowden, the famous whistle-blower and internet freedom campaigner, has angered unelected PM Theresa May (or May not but she's not going to give...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Dress Down Friday

Rochdale boss dresses down staff after casual Friday turns Nazi

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The age old question of trying to persuade employees to continue to care about work on a Friday has vexed employers for decades. A...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

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Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...
Bono

Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice

0
It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why. U2 played Berlin last night and...
Miliband

Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker

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Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...

Donald Trump signs Executive Order Banning Entry of Toddlers into USA

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After being alerted to the shockingly high number of deaths caused by toddlers shooting their parents, President Trump signed the legally binding order yesterday that prevents...
Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

53
Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing...
British Homeopath

Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy

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Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy? Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...
Theresa May

Theresa May shocked and disappointed by contents of freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box

5
Theresa May is said to be both shocked and disappointed this afternoon by the contents of the freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box. The box, made...

Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween

2
Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us. But enough about the tete-a-tete...

‘Human Ken Dodd’ reveals inspiration behind unique look

0
After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more...

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