Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
Bank of England RAISES interest rate from naff all to fuck all
For the second time in more than a decade the Bank of England has taken the decision raise interest rates.
The official bank rate has...
Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed
The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...
Olympics cancelled. To be replaced by international Fortnite tournament.
Reports are emerging that the International Olympic Committee has convened to discuss cancelling this year's summer Olympics.
The report, which comes to The Rochdale Herald...
Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records
NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked.
"Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
Record Turnout for Britain First in Rochdale for The Zestra Three
Chaotic scenes in Rochdale today as tens of thousands of Britain First supporters and other moderate right wing organisations including Pegida, the EDL and...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
NEWS FLASH – Mo Farah out of 10,000 Metres
On the eve of the Olympic 10,000 Metres Mo Farah has dramatically retired from running.
Maurice Farah, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the...
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer exists
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he...
Women seeking cosmetic surgery to make their genitals look like Michael Gove
The Labia Party have announced new plans to make vaginal cosmetic surgery available on the NHS. The announcement follows news that millions of women...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
Gavin Williamson to join Facebook as head of privacy
Facebook has hired former Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson as head of its global privacy and secret keeping team.
The 42-year-old politician former UK Defence Secretary,...
Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers
A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.
Stating confidently that “It is,...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone
The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...
