Blair and Farage to launch new political party together

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The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release. The party,...

Pressure grows for superhero movie with strong male lead

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Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

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A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Winter Olympics shock after allegations that many of the events are just an elaborate...

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Brenda "Brenda" Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

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Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After...

Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain

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There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster. Rochdale's elderly population had turned...

We must stick to our principles, says woman not sticking to her principles

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Former Remain campaigner and comedy Prime Minister impersonator Theresa May told the British people that it's really important to stick to your principles shortly...

Yes Prime Minister explains the Trident Vote

Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe. Jim Hacker: I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.  Sir Humphrey:...

New UKIP leader elected yesterday already 3rd longest serving leader behind both Nigel Farages

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Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...
Drinking Wine

Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices

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Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon...

Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s

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President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Ainsley Harriott

Ainsley Harriott kicked out of satanic death cult for using too much turmeric

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Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group. "Look it's simple...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

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Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...
Corbyn

Labour plans to make unions transfer power to workers

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Large unions would be forced to transfer as much as 10 percent of their voting rights to workers under plans set out by the...

World now clear on just how much rope was needed for Donald Trump to...

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The world has been quivering with excitement over President Trump's possible impeachment for some time now, like Kim Jong-Un's stubby digit over a big...

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