Survivor

Last PPI claimant found alive and well

2
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.  After years of...

Green Party suffers rectal prolapse over Swansea Tidal Lagoon go ahead

11
News of the go ahead for the green energy scheme at Swansea Tidal Lagoon has set heads spinning in Right On Brighton Pavilions today. "I’ll...
Donald Trump

Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration

0
There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event. The demagogue was able to...
NHS

Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly

0
Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
Westminster

Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker

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The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...

Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus

The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

0
A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

0
In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Theresa May

Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza

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"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Marty McFly

Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...

0
The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California. Strickland...

Lords Punish May With Dance

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Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...
jogging

NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries

0
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows. According...
Professor

What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors

The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion. "I created the...

Jennifer Aniston found dead after Schadenfreude overdose

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Jennifer Aniston was found dead this afternoon at her LA mansion after apparently overdosing on Schadenfreude following the news of the impending Brangelina split. Miss...
Ed Sheeran

Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music

0
A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music. Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from...

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