Man Washing Machine

Southern Rail whistleblower reveals driving a train ‘piece of piss’ compared to programming washer-dryer.

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Following the furore over Philip Hammond's comments over female train drivers, The Rochdale Herald has been contacted by an employee of Southern Rail who...

Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove

Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
Kelvin MacKenzie

Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist

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Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive. Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at...

Record Turnout for Britain First in Rochdale for The Zestra Three

Chaotic scenes in Rochdale today as tens of thousands of Britain First supporters and other moderate right wing organisations including Pegida, the EDL and...
Doctor and Child

Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”

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Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...

We tried to write 5 unfunny things about the Buzzfeed job cuts – What...

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The state of the world is our fault 1. People like free stuff, or more precisely, things they perceive to be free....

Jennifer Aniston found dead after Schadenfreude overdose

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Jennifer Aniston was found dead this afternoon at her LA mansion after apparently overdosing on Schadenfreude following the news of the impending Brangelina split. Miss...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

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In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...

Love Island Special – John Terry sacks Agent after he asked to join “that...

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John Terry, the legendary back door man and occasional footballer, has sacked his Agent after finding himself trapped in a 1 year contract at...
Whiskey

Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania

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Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...

Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour

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Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is...
Theresa May

Theresa May to raise voting age to 35

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Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson arrested outside Big Brother house for live streaming name of 1st evictee

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Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside...
Theresa May

Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

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After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail, in...

Nuttall Lost Close Personal Friends When They Discovered He Was An Arsehole

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UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole. “People started to shun me and sometimes even...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

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The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...

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