Apple to move to Battersea iStation

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Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station. Mayor Sadiq Khan...

EXCLUSIVE: Apple customers will be forced to install ‘iBalls’ to use new SCREENLESS iPhone...

Tech giant Apple has refused to comment on reports that customers will be forced to replace their own eyes if they want to use the new iPhone 9, which will be sold...

Five year old lemonade salesman found guilty of tax evasion after multi-million pound VAT...

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A five year old girl has been found guilty at the Old Bailey of tax evasion after a multi-million pound VAT investigation. The girl, clearly...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping

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More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?" At least 30...
Santa and reindeer

Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.

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Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...

New VW Eco-Diesel Car Scraps Itself In Event Of Ecological Disaster

Volkswagen announced the launch date for the VW Plannett Fuckerr, their new eco-friendly diesel family saloon today, assuring customers that this is 'the most...
Money

Nigerian Prince perplexed no one wants free money

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Prince Terry Ojukwu III, of Nigeria, recently ran into financial difficulties when his bank fell into administration, leaving him just 24 hours to withdraw...

Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film

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His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga. Warning: contains spoilers Shooting began today for the latest...

Robbie Williams comes undone at World Cup opening ceremony

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Robbie Williams finds himself in trouble after giving the finger to fans at World Cup opening ceremony after repeatedly being asked to sing 'This...

Met Office advise all future storms named Storm Boris until May gets the balls...

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The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named...

Stay safe, don’t be brown in the USA – advise Foreign Office

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FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today. "We do realise that culturally it's very...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...

Local man in critical condition after accidentally hearing Vanessa Feltz on the radio

A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch...
Man holding a gun

America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...

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Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...

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