Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

0
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

0
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Power Station

Tories not free market enough for money grabbing Conn man

0
Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

0
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
Michael McIntyre

People who robbed Michael McIntyre receive award for services to comedy

0
Two robbers who robbed Michael McIntyre are to receive an award for services to comedy following their actions. One of the two robbers, most recently...

Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...

9
For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....
riot

Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time

11
The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...

Fillies to continue racing as outbreak confirmed as equine equivalent of ‘man flu’.

0
Initial reports that all racing in the U.K. was to be suspended have proved to be unfounded after vets have confirmed that the outbreak...

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

14
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...

A little food for thought… A pack of wolves

24
The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...
Jeremy Corbyn

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

0
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...
Doctor and Child

Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”

4
Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

31
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Bernie’s Brave Brazillian Blag Backfires

0
Bernie Ecclestone's brave gamble with Brazilian kidnappers backfired spectacularly last night when his Mother-in-Law was released fit and well from her 9 day captivity. Formula...

Tories to increase appeal to younger voters by disbanding

23
The Conservative Party have announced they intend to disband after this years party conference in Manchester. Political analyst Ecgbert Wonk said, "The last election showed...

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