Theresa May

Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...

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Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...

Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster

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After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

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A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.
Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

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Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...

Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy

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A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...
Corbyn Wagon Wheels

Corbyn pledges to end Syrian War with tea and a Wagon Wheel

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Jeremy Corbyn has today promised to end the bloody civil war that has plagued Syria for the last 4 years with nothing but good...
Glastonbury

Glastonbury food vendors uproar after Jeremy Corbyn feeds festival with five loaves and two...

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Food vendors at the Glastonbury festival have been in uproar today after Jeremy Corbyn fed the entire site using just five loaves of bread...

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck Corbyn tells press conference

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Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap...
Trump Airplane

Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears

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It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit. POTUS was invited to meet...
Tim Farron

Labour urge supporters to vote Conservative to keep Liberal Democrats out of Power

The Labour Party general election campaign is said to be in tatters today following the release of the Liberal Democrat's Manifesto in the last...

Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s

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President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Patient

Paul Dacre hospitalised with stress after English Muslim cricketer wins man of the match...

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Caught between "Moeen Ali spins England to victory!" and "Fury as Muslim immigrant takes YOUR place in the ENGLAND cricket team", the Daily Mail's...

VAR becomes favourite to win Sports Personality of the Year

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VAR is now the favourite to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year. It marks a remarkable turnaround in VAR's fortunes after spending the...
Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

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Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...
Corbyn

Corbyn defection massive blow to crybaby lefties

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Shock news reaching us today of defection of the Labour leader and terrorist sympathiser Jeremy Corbyn has left the party in favour of Britain First. The shock...
Doctor

Veganism can be cured claim scientists

Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...

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