Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote
In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs.
The...
Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit
Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today.
Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men
A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men.
Although...
Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives
A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence
In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.
"During a period of initial uncertainty, many...
Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.
The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late.
Now the UK government has come up...
Reality blamed for increase of violence on television
Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV.
Many of...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine
After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road."
His...
Winter Olympics shock after allegations that many of the events are just an elaborate...
Brenda "Brenda" Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
