Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...
ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch
An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it.
The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...
Jacob Rees-Mogg announces plan for every UK baby to have his DNA by 2040
This is a key policy behind Rees-Mogg's bid for the Conservative party leadership.
According to leaked documents, he is going to take his cue from...
Ban on new celebrity Chefs
The government is set to introduce legislation preventing the creation of new celebrity Chefs, after pretentiousness levels in the UK became toxic.
It...
Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics
Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport.
Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...
Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends
Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends.
Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...
New male grooming products launched
Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
David Cameron admits he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian
Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian.
Cameron made the shock admission during an...
Google crashes as hipsters race to be “lifelong influenced” by Fats Domino
The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking...




















































