Dickheads eaten by lions
At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa.
The...
Socialist FURIOUS that train strike made him late for business meeting
A self professed "die-hard Socialist" has admitted he's a bit pissed off with railway strikes.
Chris P. Bacon told us, "I support the right to...
Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting
A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy.
The teacher, who asked not...
Florence and the McMachine
McDonald's is suing Florence over claims that the historic city is "promoting a healthy diet & lifestyle contrary to Western values
Public unsure what to believe after Nuttall admits ‘Everything I say is a lie’
In another reputation-busting move, Paul Nuttall has stumped logicians and shocked the wider world with the classic Liar's or Epimenides Paradox by saying;
"Everything I...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...
Yoga All About Getting Your Head Up Your Own Fundament
It’s always been said that there’s more to yoga than the lotus position, but it has been revealed recently that the true aim is...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Man into ‘real music’ unveils plans to spend night sneering at Eurovision
A 'real music' fan from Rochdale has revealed plans to spend tonight sneering loudly at the Eurovision song contest.
Martin Williams 42, told the Herald "Even...
Top Tories Converse to win yoof vote
Prime Minister Theresa May today ditched her kitten heels and turned out to the Commons wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor black and white...
Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
New dementia awareness campaign just GB cycling doctor trying to remember what drugs he’s...
Using drugs that are not banned but enhance performance is definitely not cheating." That's what head of British cycling Zammo Maguire says today.
McGuire was...
Man dry retches vital organs up after remote batteries die during episode of The...
Keith Lambert sadly passed yesterday evening, after an horrific coughing fit which was brought on by the prospect of enduring a full hour of...
Friendless satirists reduced to talking in headlines on closed satire sites
Since the negative publicity surrounding "hoax news" networks, aka SATIRICAL FACEBOOK PAGES, much of their activity has been curtailed by certain leading executives of...
