Labour confirms 2018 party conference will be held in Mecca
The Labour Party has denied accusations of ‘Muslim appeasement’ at its annual conference in Brighton, after several eagle-eyed observers noticed that its conference banner...
Dead gays thrilled at posthumous pardons for jail terms and chemical castrations
Dead gays celebrated accross the country today as the 'Alan Turing Law' was unveiled by government, effectively absolving them of wrong doing for having a...
Rochdale Man wins Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the Sun is HOT!!!
Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT.
It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Study finds link between hair loss and racism.
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have uncovered the first clear links between racism and hair loss among men.
In an in depth study lasting nearly...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes
Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...
Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.
Beards officially still cool – says man with beard
It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Trump Makes Farage “Hand of the King” – Hillary to “Take the Black” &...
Following his seizure of the Irony Throne, Donald Trump has moved quickly to form his Small Hands Council.
Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
Husband fails to avoid loaded question
A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
I’m President of what? Asks Donald Trump
After the shock of winning the popularity contest "President Factor", President elect Trump has now talked about his next career move. We asked him...
Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...
The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading.
Founded in...
English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”
Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis
Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement" at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
