Miraculous Jesus face found on Twinkie atop words “sort your fucking gun laws out”

1
A Mr Billy-Bob Jnr III of Kentucky has made the US news with his Jackpot discovery in an all American snack pack. After a...
Policing

Cuts in police lead to cuts in Londoners

0
Leaked Home Office document reveals correlation between law enforcement and criminality. A fall in police numbers is likely to have contributed to a rise in...

England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test

0
Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the...

Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow

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Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...

Rochdale Set to Become Major Irony Exporter

0
The irony mining industry in Rochdale, previously in serious decline, received a massive boost yesterday following the result of the US Presidential elections. Irony is...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

0
Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

0
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...

A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...

Zuckerberg assures Facebook have absolutely no information about your STD

0
It's a sore subject that can become inflamed easily but there's an itch that needs to be scratched. In the wake of the fall out...
Connor McGregor

Conor McGregor refuses to quit, offers Stephen Hawking a game of ‘da physics’

28
In a ground-breaking move, career punchist and all round feckin' lad Conor McGregor has revealed his plans to offer professor Stephen Hawking a game...

Sports Direct worker in critical condition after selling bag for life and giant mug

11
Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock. Mary...
British Homeopath

Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy

0
Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy? Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...

Debbie Reynolds Posthumously Wins 2016’s Most Competitive Mum Award

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A bad week for the Reynolds family ended on a high note today as mother Debbie was posthumously awarded the Virgin Mary Award for...

Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees

0
The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.

Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation

0
News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee. It is thought he...

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