Claims have been made in a startling report that men only wear sunglasses so that they can check out other women without their wives & girlfriends seeing where their eyes are going.

The report, from the Scientific Institute of Wives & Girlfriends, was damning in its verdict. They went further to accuse men of wearing sunglasses inside churches at weddings for the sole purpose of blatantly checking out the Bridesmaids.

Whilst they stated, in their report, that men often tried to cover up this obvious boob-staring by making comments to their wives about the dress or hair-do, it seems wives realise that this is paper thin at best.

“It’s paper thin at best” said Sam Stoneface-Sheila of the Institute. However, it’s not all bad news. Dave Bird-Stalker of Foster Grant Fashion Shades said business is booming.

“Business is booming” he said. “For a while, 7 or 8 years ago, we were totally on our arses” he continued “we were selling ‘shades’ in petrol stations for £3 – but that’s when it happened” ‘It” was the growth of social media that brought about the end of one of Britain’s oldest social conventions…never outshine the Bride “Since every wedding is now on Facebook in real time, women have taken it as an open invitation to a push-up bra contest” he said excitedly.

“Since then, every bloke at the wedding has been forced to turn up in sunglasses….and all my kids are in Private School! Thank you FaceBook!!!”

However, Sam Stoneface had the last word “enjoy your glasses….we will get the house!” 

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