Labour manifesto to revolutionise politics by getting rid of the Labour party
The Labour Party has revealed a manifesto that will revolutionise British politics by getting rid of the Labour Party.
Speaking to the Herald a spokesman...
Tom Hiddleston does a runner.
Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...
Nothing says f*** you to a neighbour like a Leilandii hedge
Scientists at Rochdale College have discovered that nothing gets the message that you hate them across to your neighbour's more than a Leilandii hedge.
Dr...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred.
The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
David Attenborough found alive and well
Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well.
The news comes as welcome relief...
Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
May To Wheel Out Trebuchet
Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf".
The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...
World book day sparked hate incident
An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale.
Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...
Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming
A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Muslims Infiltrate Ranks of Top British Sports Teams
Statisticians today pointed to a 25% increase in Muslims appearing among the top four run scorers in the England cricket team.
"It appears the sneaky...
Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way
Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way.
Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel...
Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents
People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...
Government to encourage more online petitions.
Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...
Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award
Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award.
Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the...
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
