Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party said;

“It’s been clear for a while that we have some major anti-Israeli sentiment in the party and its really not playing very well with our Jewish donors. Faced with either dealing with Jeremy Corbyn’s links to Hamas or finding a suitable scapegoat this seemed a bit of a ‘tap-in’, politically speaking.”

When asked if Bacongate, as it has now become known, was equally offensive to the Islamic community he said;

“Possibly, but they are not particularly on our agenda at the moment. And it’s not really like they control the World’s banks either…oops…you’re not going to print that, are you?”

A spokesman for the Syrian Government thanked the Labour Party for their efforts as they had made it “a good day to get bad news out” about gassing lots of children.