UKIP leader, Paul Nuttall PhD, is concerned that he is being erased from history by a shadowy group of leftist and liberal media conspirators. 

He recently had to prove that he was present at the Hillsborough disaster in 1989, in spite of the systematic erasure of all evidence of his attendance as a 12 year old Liverpool fan. Fortunately he managed to obtain a note from his Dad which was accepted as proof by members of his party.

This is not a new problem for Doctor Nuttall, who recently published a book, “Oh, the places I’ve been,” attempting to counteract the revisionism that seeks to airbrush him out of history.

“The night they shot Osama bin Laden, I was there in the situation room at the White House,” he writes. “Although I don’t appear in the picture because I’d just been sent to get more coffees from the machine in the corridor.”

He also accompanied Nigel Farage when they went to visit President-Elect Donald Trump at Trump Tower in New York.

“We were just about to have our picture taken with Donald, and I bent down to tie my shoelace. When I stood up again, the shoot was all over,” he writes. “You can see Nigel saying ‘What about Paul?’ as he gestures to where I was, on Donald’s right, but the liberal photographer knew what he was up to and cropped me out of the shot.”

Paul tries to be positive, but “it is hard not to feel depressed when conspirators even delete my name from the list of the injured at the Bowling Green Massacre.”