Lord Voldemort was visiting Hogwarts School today and was asked whether he was a fan of the Conservative Party by a student during a Q & A session in the Slytherin common room.

“Obviously I’m a great fan of all of the Tory governments.” The Dark Lord confirmed. “However I wouldn’t exactly say I’m like any of the characters in the cabinet. But yes, I’m a fan.”

One student was heard to ask, “not even Gove?” before turning inside out and bursting into flames.

The revelations came after Theresa May confirmed she is a big fan of The Harry Potter books but refused to compare herself to any of the characters.

JK Rowling has insisted that there are no characters in The Harry Potter universe who would have cut bereavement benefit as hard as May.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.