A Rochdale man is in a critical condition after he was thrown out of the third floor window of his office kitchenette.

Mr Dickinson (39 and a half) fell almost 40 feet after a colleague caught him putting milk in her mug whilst the tea bag was still in the water.

“Disgusting.” PC Clarence Tetley told us. “Obviously we’d rather people weren’t thrown off buildings for this kind of thing, it causes lots of paperwork, but there really is no excuse for Mr Dickinson’s behaviour. There was a perfectly serviceable teapot in the kitchen.”

Gladys from accounts was given a verbal warning and told to discipline tea molesters through proper channels in the future.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.