The notorious Rochdale Cowboy reached the end of the line yesterday when he and the rest of his ‘Hole in the road’ gang were caught red handed in a vape shop on Yorkshire Street.

The robbers, wearing their trademark ill- fitting spurs on their clogs, and riding their German Shepherd dogs, were ambushed by the Sheriff of Rochdale, Bill Caine and his pussy.  It is thought the cat distracted the dogs allowing Bill to surprise the bandits as they loaded up their swag of vaping products.

With an accurately hurled cow heel, the Sheriff killed Fred Ackroyd, the notorious Rochdale Cowboy, in the Vapourman store, next door to the pie and pea saloon.  Though wounded by a piece of tripe shrapnel, Caine lured out the rest of the gang with promises of sarsaparilla and liquorice in the Temperance Saloon.

We tried to get a comment from a family member of the Cowboy but were informed that Ackroyd’s Uncle Fred had been confined to bed for 18 months.

(**with apologies to Mike Harding)