It’s alright to be a judgey bigoted fuck if it’s based on Bronze Age superstition, singer Kim Burrell is insisting.

The bigot was scheduled to appear on the show of famed rug-muncher and gay rights mouthpiece Ellen Degeneres but her appearance was cancelled when it was revealed she hates faggots and dykes.

“I merely referred to the perverted homosexual spirit,” said the Bible bashing warbler, “I don’t hate shirt lifters and clam lappers, especially when they can further my career, but I won’t apologise.”

“It’s their filthy,perverted actions that offend decent people and God, not the demon possessed frequenters of the Bournville Boulevard and lip licking lesbos themselves! How can anyone find that offensive?”

Burrell was due to sing with Pharell Williams. It’s not currently known if he also hates sinners because a book says that the man in the sky doesn’t like them.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.