Health experts for the Daily Mail have revealed new evidence that travelling on Virgin trains causes cancer.

Daily Mail columnist, Biff Wellington told us, “We’ve looked at the data and there’s a definite link. A lady we spoke to made a trip to Edinburgh 4 years ago on a Virgin train. She’s just been told she’s got arse cancer and has 8 months to live. It’s tragic.”

Biff went on to say, “Richard Branson lives on a tropical island and he’s ginger. He should have caught skin cancer by now but he hasn’t. Why? He never travels on Virgin trains is why.”

Many Mail readers have backed up the claims. @Brexitnow tweeted, “I always knew there was something fishy about Branson. He did all that ballooning. Everyone knows there’s less air to cleanse the cancer at altitude. He’s collected loads of cancer while hot air ballooning and he’s now getting his trains to give it people.”

@Nigel4PM added “If this is true I’m never travelling with them again. I’m going to boycott Virgin Megastores as well. You can’t be too careful.”
Several other Mail readers criticised Mr Branson for backing Remain despite not living in the country. One said, “He probably doesn’t pay tax either. Unlike us true patriotic Brits.”

A spokesman for Virgin, Flint Sparks, said, “This is entirely unfounded from the Mail. They can’t back these allegations up with evidence. The whole thing is because we’ve stopped selling their so called newspaper on our trains. They also don’t like Richard because we refuse their policy of bringing back the age of steam.”

Critics of the Mail have said that the finding is very similar to one last year that said that Lego causes cancer. That allegation followed Lego stopping giving away free Lego in the Mail.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.