The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail and Express, and much derision from everyone else.
Here at the Herald we know you are all far too busy visiting Wetherspoons and your Meth dealer to bother poring through the entire 70 page document, so we have listed the main points below:
- We shall require a paddle. Check for sale at Go Outdoors.
- Turn off the fan.
- Order Ordnance Survey map of Shit Creek area.
- Use Google image search for ‘Arse’ and ‘Elbow’.
- Learn the Mandarin for “Yes Master”.
- Find out best way to remove fake tan from around mouth and lips.
The White Paper is expected to have perforations so it can be put to good use in the ‘smallest room’.
