Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago.
A spokesman for Prince Andrew said, “Many people have said that it is strange that Prince Andrew can’t remember the names of teenage prostitutes he’s met but can remember everything about a trip to Pizza Express. The reason for this is that Princess Beatrice had a fit friend called Tara. Tara would often wear jodhpurs when visiting Beatrice. Andrew went along to the party in part to check out Tara and take part in the karaoke. He did a stirring rendition of Iron Maiden’s, Bring your daughter to the slaughter. He then followed this up with, Smells like teen spirit and I saw her standing there.”
The spokesman went on, “Prince Andrew would like it to be known that there was nothing weird about this visit. Tara was 18 at the time and there had been grass on the wicket for at least 4 years at this point. He went home afterwards and that 45 minute visit to the toilet was genuinely because he had had a Lamb Phaal the night before.”
Prince Andrew has also sought to further clarify why he stayed at Epstein’s house for 4 days after not seeing him for 4 years before that. “I was drinking with Jeff in Wetherspoon’s in Brixton and felt the sudden urge to go to the toilet. Anyway, Wetherspoon’s being Wetherspoon’s it took me 4 years to find the toilet and get back. I felt I must travel to Jeff and tell him what happened and that we couldn’t be friends any longer.”
