America

Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf courses is complete. In a tweet Trump said, "Wow. Just had confirmation...

Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia. In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering atomic secrets to Russian courier Harry Gold whilst he was part...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced one of the most indelible villains in movie history, has...

The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci, has not just carried on where Sean Spicer left off,...

Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people to blame on both sides, presumably the woman damaging the...

Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best known for his recurring role as Third Klingon in Star...

The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff that King Arthur needs to get past revealed himself last...

President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in common with Saudi Arabia. I like to promote members of my...

A child struggling to do his job took time out of his day to watch a kid push a lawn mower at the White House the other day.

President Trump has weighed into the grammer nazi debate by claiming their is good people on both sides. Discussions and arguments about correct use of grammar rage across the internet with many people specialising in...

The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to Americans. "These so called national security services you have, they are...

It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin skin. The modification to the President’s usual procedure of pacing back...

Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not been American enough. An NRA spokesman said, "The most concerning...

President Donald Trump has responded to criticism of his failure to rush aid to Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria by promising to help Puerto Ricans who can present him with a...

The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the scoring system. The USAOC had lobbied to have Police-State Violence -...

After millions of tweets by gun lobbyists, alt righters and other winners at life, Congress has responded with draft gun reform proposals. Some of the wokest anime avatared fuckheads have been banging the...