Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’

The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk segment. When asked about his favourite clothing label, Mr. Trump, apparently...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said he would, in order to trick idiots into voting for...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka 'The Hairy Cornflake') has been approached by the president-soon-to-be's office...
Trump Child

Department of Justice confirms that if indicted Trump will be tried as an adult

The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he will have to stand trial as an adult. The U.S. Department...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in Florida

It's all better in Florida now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Jacksonville following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're crating up the thoughts and prayers from the Vegas shooting...
White House Christmas

Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas

Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning. The news comes after the last adult in the White House, General Jim Mattis,...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Speaking at a press conference late last...
Guns for sale

Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem

A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it has "no idea' how to solve the problem. "We just have...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for Christmas. The book, titled "My Struggle" will focus largely on his...
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency has been marred by a number of controversies, FPOTUS Underwood...

Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail

Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker who had sex with horrible old men for money. What a...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support for Pinochet-a-like Donald Trump as he breaks orbit from the...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in the state own no books. The book bonfire was to be...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over working conditions. It is understood that several employees quit this morning...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists that Trump's racism, sexism and general vulgarity would cause embarrassment...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil hat in the White House and is equipping all his...

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