Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

5
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Donald Trump

New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal

0
Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...

Trump orders 700 billion pieces of LEGO

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The President Elect reportedly ordered a vast amount of the interconnecting bricks earlier today. LEGO CEO, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, said; "Obviously we are thrilled to...
Donald Trump

Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...

0
News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course...
Scared Office Worker

Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci

2
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...
Pumpkin

Halloween pumpkin mistaken for President Trump

0
The embarrassing incident occurred after Ivanka left the pumpkin in the Oval Office. A meeting of President Trump’s closest advisors failed to realise that...
Roy Moore

Roy Moore ordered to pay if he wants another go after coming in a...

0
The Alabama Secretary of State has told Judge Roy Moore that he will have to finance any recount of the Senate seat vote. John Merrill...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

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Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th...
Donald Trump Jnr

Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr

2
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Trump Airplane

Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit

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Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump. State Governor,...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
Hurricane

State of emergency declared as Hurricane Dorian heads towards rich white people

47
Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week. The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and...

Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

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A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...

Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

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Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...
Shit Hair Magazine

Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine

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In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

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Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for...

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