President Donald Trump has found himself in the middle of a storm of controversy recently following his comments about Puerto Rico.

At a press conference attended by The Rochdale Herald, President Trump repeatedly slated the island and its people, ranting uncontrollably about its failure to deal with its own problems.

He ranted “Let me tell you, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than Puerto Rico. But the Fake News are really exaggerating the scale of the problem and the place is actually doing great. People are out enjoying themselves, getting drunk, partying. Only yesterday there were many people, great people on the beach with their big towels. Beach towels. There were swimmers in the sea, also on banana boats and on jet skis, surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water.”

“In the town many are drinking in bars, eating in restaurants, great restaurants and having fantastic steaks. Although not as big as the steak I had this weekend at the golf club.”

He continued “I have done great work, great work, actually probably my best work, to help with the many, many problems in Puerto Rico. But the people expect to have everything done for them.”

“The Mayor Of Puerto Rico needs to take back control. He needs to make sure that deliveries to bars arrive on time so they don’t run out of alcohol. He needs to ensure that loud music doesn’t go on until the early hours and ruin the enjoyment of other folk. Bars need to make sure they have enough peach schnapps to give away as free shots. Hotel representatives need to make sure that visitor’s accommodation is very nice and that they deal swiftly with any issues, like not having enough bedding or the showers not working and that. I cannot do it all. Although I have already done so, so much.”

The Rochdale Herald asked the President if he was getting confused with the holiday resort of Puerto Rico in Fuerteventura but he refused to comment.