Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...
US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s
Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...
Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump
It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears
"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he...
Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all
American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible.
"Up until yesterday I was...
Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen
Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”
Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the...
We’re doing just fine says President of country whose hobbies include shooting children at...
The so-called President of a country that lists shooting children at school amongst its most popular hobbies has told the UK Prime Minster to...
Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy
The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr
Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him.
Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...
Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed
Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...
Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...
Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...
Trump in hiding as NRA call for curb ‘on rapid fire tools’
DONALD TRUMP is believed to be in hiding tonight after the National Rifle Association called for a clamp-down on “rapid fire tools”.
This has been...
