Online petition to impeach Trump gets 6 billion signatures in 24 hours

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An online petition requesting that Donald Trump be removed from office has got 6 billion signatures from around the world within 24 hours of...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times

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Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged. Sources close to the president have informed the...
Prisoner

Rochdale man released from US prison after Trump repeals ‘Merry Christmas’ ban

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A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for. Percy...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

National holiday declared as USA goes 6 days without mass shooting

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This is the closest to a full week that the US has gone without a mass shooting since 'The Great Week of Peace' in...
Trump Supporters

Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies

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The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies. During a speech given to Texas...
Trump on Warship

He knew what he signed up for, says dickhead who doesn’t know what he...

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Proving once and for all that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, Donald Trump told the widow of a grieving soldier that...
Trump Airplane

Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit

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Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump. State Governor,...

Trump tells California, Cut down all the trees to prevent future forest fires

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POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires. POTATUS got the idea after...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
Nuttall

Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia

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Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia. In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...

Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI

The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Donald Trump

Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead

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Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas. The gesture...

Trump credited with restoring American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has been given credit for restoring America's faith in Bush. One Bush expert told us, "10 years ago American faith in Bush was...

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