Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’.
In a...
G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl
The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today.
One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on...
Fat People Rejoice as America Turns Into a Parody of Itself
Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of...
Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears
"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he...
Hilary Clinton’s emails confirm she would have already nuked North Korea
Further extracts reveal she had plans to construct “Wall Street on the Korean Peninsula” once the “dust and stuff has settled.”
Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director
Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the...
Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man
A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...
It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House...
Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...
Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic...
President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...
It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...
Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts
Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald.
Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been...
U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
Bill Cosby Offers Trump PR Advice Over Sexual Assault Allegations
Dateline this morning, and in the face of a slew of fresh sexual assault allegations, beleaguered Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has found himself...
Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US
President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...
Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate
In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
