Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists
As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...
Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times
Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans.
The Mayor said, "I...
Short range nuclear missiles made available to American public in bid to reduce gun...
Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public were shot...
Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off
Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up.
The lying git said that his description of...
Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design
The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces.
The...
Child struggling with his job watches a kid with a lawnmower
A child struggling to do his job took time out of his day to watch a kid push a lawn mower at the White House the other day.
Halloween pumpkin mistaken for President Trump
The embarrassing incident occurred after Ivanka left the pumpkin in the Oval Office. A meeting of President Trump’s closest advisors failed to realise that...
Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service
The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully
Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters
Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened
Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies
The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies.
During a speech given to Texas...
He knew what he signed up for, says dickhead who doesn’t know what he...
Proving once and for all that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, Donald Trump told the widow of a grieving soldier that...
White House Christmas card to feature Donald Trump high-fiving the Ku Klux Klan’s Imperial...
The White House's official 2017 Christmas card will feature President Donald Trump high-fiving the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, a spokesperson confirmed...
Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell
The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
