A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn’t pay Tax in case the government squanders it.

Mr Drumpf from New York has five children with three different women, has been through four separate bankruptcies, is currently at the centre of a federal lawsuit and breached a trade embargo with Cuba.

Mr Drumpf is something of an expert when it comes to squandering money. If Mr Drumpf had taken the $500 million his father gave him in 1982 and put it into a bank account it would now be worth $20 billion. Instead he turned it into a $3 billion fortune essentially squandering $17 billion on alimony payments, gold leaf, marble floors, golden toilets, lawsuits and bankruptcy.

Thanks for the advice.

Get monthly highlights in your inbox

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.