A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs.

The man, now in his seventies, is said to have been gutted not to have been able to visit Vietnam in the 1970s while there was a really deadly war on because his heels were really quite sore.

“He really can’t believe he missed all of that action. He’s devastated to have missed the entire Tet Offensive because of a particularly itchy veruca.”

“He’s a modern medical miracle. His feet are pretty much fine now and he was able to make the trip in a private Jumbo Jet with a free bar almost completely pain free.”

A black man who lost both his feet after stepping on a landmine during the Battle of La Drang told The Rochdale Herald.

“It’s amazing after all of these years that he’s finally well enough to visit a now completely safe Vietnam. I know what it’s like to have really horrible lower limb pain and my heart goes out to this man.”

“He’s a real hero.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.