Prisoner

Rochdale man released from US prison after Trump repeals ‘Merry Christmas’ ban

0
A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for. Percy...
Gun held in front of American flag

Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US

3
President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...
Trump and Mike Pence

President Trump recorded offering Mike Pence presidency in exchange for Trump family pardon ticket

0
Leaked recordings of President Trump phoning vice president Mike Pence from a golf course appear to reveal the sitting president has offered Pence the...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

0
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

12
Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
White House

Playboy bunnies to be re-homed at The Whitehouse

18
After the sad passing of millionaire feminist Hugh (the Hef) Hefner the dilemma of what to do with the dozens of now ownerless and...

Trump demands phone number for Ghostbusters after being visited by three spirits

0
President of the United States of America, Donald Trump is demanding to know how to get in touch with the Ghostbusters, it has been...
Scaramucci

Trump Fan Can Go – Scaramucci sacked as new White House Communications Director –...

0
He’s just a rich boy, didn’t give a fuck about anybody. Easy come, easy go, we guess. In disappointing news for fans of the White...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times

4
Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged. Sources close to the president have informed the...
Donald Trump

Half of Trump Supporters Gullible Obese Idiots and the other Half deplorable Racist A-holes...

0
In the wake of the "scandal" surrounding Hillary Clinton's comments describing half of Trump supporters as a "basket of deplorables", The Rochdale Herald commissioned...
Sorry Trump

Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem

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President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...

Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests

1
The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

9
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

3
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...
Donald Genius Trump

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

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Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...

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