If Hitler had practiced golf as much as Trump, maybe he’d have made it out of the bunker

Donald J. Trump, the four times decorated draft dodge veteran, is in no way like Hitler. This should not be news. Adolf Hitler, as we should all know, was a very popular, unpleasant man. Donald J. Trump is not that popular.  Whilst it is tempting at times to use Hitler as some kind of ubiquitous boogie man, it really isn’t appropriate in the case of Donald J. Trump.

Consider the evidence:

  1. Californian Carla de Vries grabbed Adolf Hitler’s face at the 1936 Berlin Games, and kissed him without his consent. For their failure to halt this woman, several of Hitler’s Shutzstaffel guards were dismissed in disgrace, whilst several more were demoted in rank. Donald J. Trump has never been involved in a sexual assault initiated by the other party.
  2. Alfred Rosenberg, the Nazi Party’s chief racial theorist, oversaw the construction of a human racial “ladder” that justified Hitler’s racial and ethnic policies. Nordics were viewed as the “master race”, superior to all others, including other Aryans. White racial supremacy was all important. Donald J. Trump paints himself a different colour every morning, using creosote imported from Rochdale.
  3. Adolf Hitler was a leader who enjoyed unprecedented domestic support. He initially enjoyed phenomenal popularity and, prior to WW2, also enjoyed considerable respect from foreign leaders. Donald J. Trump is the 45th President of the United States.
  4. A poor man, Adolf Hitler rose to prominence through his own strength of character. He had no money to fall back on, and whilst he also had limited artistic talent, truly, he can be said to be a self-made man. Donald J. Trump inherited money from his father, and whilst he did make money from buying up sections of New York and evicting the blacks, a succession of failed businesses means that the net return on his inherited wealth is less than if he’d just bought a S&P tracker fund.
  5. Adolf Hitler volunteered to serve in the German Army. He received several decorations for his bravery during World War I, including the Iron Cross, and was wounded in action. The closest Donald J. Trump has come is fighting a war widow.  He is a coward, who used his wealth and white privilege to avoid serving.  His attempts to turn respect for those who have served as respect for him is a disgrace.  Kneeling during the anthem is about black lives mattering not that orange fool.  If that anthem was actually in any way about Trump, I wouldn’t be kneeling, I’d be taking a shit and wiping my ass on the flag.

Convinced?  Come on now.  No matter how confident you are that James Corden would have kissed Goebbels; Joseph never had to lie about attendance at one of Hitler’s rallies did he.

So for the last time, comparing Trump to Hitler is colossally unfair and you should stop doing it.  He’s more of a Shitler.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?