President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the neck and face instead.

“Melania hates the taste of my goodly goo, and I have been taught to withdraw before I spurt. She also insists on real pearls afterwards…”, said the President, adding “…did you know that ‘Congress’ also means sex? Ha! One way or another the planet will be well and truly fucked.”

The tiny-handed fucktard is thinking of insisting that the world dress up in stockings, suspenders and lacy panties as America emits stinking, miasmic plasma all over the planet’s visage. UN Secretary General António Guterres has urged Trump not to withdraw and said that the world “…will not swallow this change in American policy, or the disgusting discharges emitted.”

Trump has refused to pay for the blow job, but has said that the planet will pay in the long run.