Racist lobotomised prick likes Katie Hopkins

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The brown skin hating half brained bigot, Katie Hopkins, has an unfathomably large following since she started peddling bile for The Sun toilet paper. Keith Carlito, an unemployed 24 stone Britain First member said; "A...

Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners

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Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying home" button was added just for today. The button is in...
angry man

Swearing Increasing Exponentially Since Trump’s Inauguration

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Use of swear words has increased dramatically since Donald Trump’s inauguration, a study has shown. Since the 20th of January, the average number of swear words heard in everyday conversation has been doubling on a daily...
Rachael Tripp

Woman’s Instagram post about husband’s small penis causes backlash

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A wife's Instagram post about loving her husband's "cashew" sized penis has sparked a backlash online about just how dumb her husband is. American entrepreneur's wife Sarah Tripp, who describes herself as "wife to...
Katie Hopkins

Nation unites in devising final solution to Katie Hopkins

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The nation has been shaken by the cowardly attacks in Manchester. This terrible, cowardly attack on innocent concert goers is irrefutably horrible and humour cannot be derived from it.

NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project

In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership with WhatsApp to improve access to patient data. WhatsApp, owned by...

Trump to take Twitter attacks on the road

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Donald Trump is to embark on a lengthy world tour in January, to ensure he can insult world leaders who don't follow him on Twitter. A White House spokesperson announced the news...
Angry Woman

If you’ve got something to say to me say it to my face, says...

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Rochdale resident Rhona Rumbelow, 32, reacted angrily to something someone may or may not have said to someone else on Saturday at Swingers' nightclub formerly The Dog Inn. Speaking on Facebook with the help...
Homeless man

Homeless man with hypothermia grateful that Facebook users are thinking about him

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David Wild, a 36 year old homeless man takes a sip of hot tea in the cafe we meet in. His hands are just withered stumps. His fingers fell off 2 days ago due...

Sheffield narcissist guilty of grooming himself on social media

A late middle-aged man from Sheffield has been found guilty of grooming himself on Facebook in what is believed to be the first case of its type. The man, who cannot be named for fear...

Special place in hell for people who put kisses on Facebook comments 

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An ancient Biblical commandment that has been left out of Bibles and Torah for thousands of years has finally been translated.  Archeolinguist Barry Wordsworth told us: "Thescroll has been resisting translation throughout history because it...

Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

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Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week. Filled with anticipation he gleefully  clicked on the link, not knowing that it...

Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...

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Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods. Joseph, a carpenter and part time donkey jockey, explained. "At...

Britain First’s meme maker in coma

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As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy (No knuckles) Smith, and yesterday he fell off his right-wing...

Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

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Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick as a flash posted a comment and slipped in the...
Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

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In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid worker from a wall today. The incident happened when Herald journalist,...

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