Twitter Definitely Closing Down Next Year

Rumours that Twitter is to close for good in 2019 were confirmed today by some random user. "I kno sm1 on inside. #Twitter defo closing...

Strangers raise over £170,000 to give to anyone

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A GoFundMe page was set up yesterday and has already raised over a £170,000 with all proceeds to someone. The page's founder, Simon Collins, said;...

Taking are speling back!

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The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging...
Katie Hopkins

Nation unites in devising final solution to Katie Hopkins

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The nation has been shaken by the cowardly attacks in Manchester. This terrible, cowardly attack on innocent concert goers is irrefutably horrible and humour cannot be derived from it.
Drunk

Facebook adds ‘I am drunk button’

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Facebook has added an "I am drunk" button to the award winning range of useful buttons on your profile page. The button will immediately quarantine...

Britain First’s meme maker in coma

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As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy...

Special place in hell for people who put kisses on Facebook comments 

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An ancient Biblical commandment that has been left out of Bibles and Torah for thousands of years has finally been translated.  Archeolinguist Barry Wordsworth told...

Rochdale man has farmville farm repossessed by bailiffs

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This week, a local middle aged man had his FarmVille repossessed during a raid on his parents property on Friars Crescent.

Sheffield narcissist guilty of grooming himself on social media

A late middle-aged man from Sheffield has been found guilty of grooming himself on Facebook in what is believed to be the first case...

Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

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Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week. Filled with anticipation...
Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

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In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid...

Piers Morgan behaves like a d**k on Twitter, again

Piers Morgan has taken to Twitter to characteristically behave like an utter tit today. Morgan, whose only physical accomplishment of note was to fall off...

Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners

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Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying...

Man made ‘hilarious’ comment but got no likes

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Brian Dunphy of Newbold saw an article on LadBible about Donald Trump and had the perfect response. "I wrote something hilarious, it was so funny...

Dalai Lama fury over Louis Smith Buddha is a fat bastard comments

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The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a "fat fucker". Two time Olympic Pommel...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

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The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...

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