The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media.
The posters appear to be a cheaply reworked copy of a previous effort, with the addition of a motto reading “Like, share and type ‘Amen'” emblazoned across the bottom. We asked our media analyst, Japson Blaze to, well, analyse the new approach. “Beats me.” shrugged Japson. “It’s not even properly centred.”
Without exception, all of the leading experts we contacted were similarly bemused, with comments ranging from “Is this for real?” to “It’s pointless. They already have all the desperately sad souls on their side.”
We sent our intern, Douglas to interview the latest Trump Campaign Manager, Kellyanne Conway, who told him. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I quit yesterday. Speak to Ellie May Segway. She’s running the circus now.” Ms Segway told a similar story, but three campaign managers later, the intrepid Douglas finally tracked down Baylee-Ann Broderick to a trailer park on the outskirts of Owensboro, Kentucky.
She told us “Take one step nearer that truck Mister, and I’m gonna fill your skinny ass with lead. Thirty minutes later, after Douglas had convinced her he wasnt from Repo Depot, Baylee-Ann put down the hunting rifle and agreed to an interview.
“Damn right I’m the new campaign manager! Momma always said I was headed for the top. So when that nice Mr Trump asked me for help to get his butt into the Oval Office, I climbed right on board that train and since then I’ve been busier than a one-armed monkey with two peckers. I said ‘Mr Trump, sir. What you need is likes and shares, and I just happen to know how to go about gettin’ them’.”
“Well, Donald was happier than a punk in a pickle patch with the new posters. This here campaign is aimed right at the folks who get where he’s comin’ from. Now you run along, sugar, and don’t let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya! So long now, darlin’. Virgil, see the nice young man to his car.”
When Douglas is discharged from hospital. we’ll send him to gather opinions from the Democrat camp.