Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

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Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week. Filled with anticipation he gleefully  clicked on the link, not knowing that it...

Strangers raise over £170,000 to give to anyone

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A GoFundMe page was set up yesterday and has already raised over a £170,000 with all proceeds to someone. The page's founder, Simon Collins, said; "I don't care who gets the cash, I honestly don't....

Piers Morgan behaves like a d**k on Twitter, again

Piers Morgan has taken to Twitter to characteristically behave like an utter tit today. Morgan, whose only physical accomplishment of note was to fall off a Segway and break two ribs shortly after saying "you'd...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

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Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country to start a pointless online petition to bring it to...
Drunk

Facebook adds ‘I am drunk button’

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Facebook has added an "I am drunk" button to the award winning range of useful buttons on your profile page. The button will immediately quarantine anything you add until midday the following day. The button has...
Homeless man

Homeless man with hypothermia grateful that Facebook users are thinking about him

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David Wild, a 36 year old homeless man takes a sip of hot tea in the cafe we meet in. His hands are just withered stumps. His fingers fell off 2 days ago due...

Taking are speling back!

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The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging bastards Apple have confirmed that the next update for its...
Latest Trump Campaign Poster

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters appear to be a cheaply reworked copy of a previous...

Facebook in league with mouse manufacturers

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Mouse manufacturers are celebrating at the moment at the future increase in sales caused by Facebook’s determined but ultimately futile attempt to make you use the ’Top Stories’ feature of their increasingly rubbish social...

Twitter Definitely Closing Down Next Year

Rumours that Twitter is to close for good in 2019 were confirmed today by some random user. "I kno sm1 on inside. #Twitter defo closing in 2019 #savetwitter" tweeted Hoaxy McHoaxface from his @totallylegit account. "It...

Woman dismayed by number of volunteers after threatening Facebook cull

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A Rochdale woman today described feeling 'shocked and disappointed' by the number of people who volunteered to be removed from her friends list after she threatened a Facebook 'friend cull'. Charlotte Gainsborough, 25, made the...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

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The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the attack when Jeremy announced he could no longer access his...

Power Hungry Admins Have New Axe To Wield

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With the advent of the all new ‘mute button’, passive, aggressive bitches everywhere are in their element. We spoke to one such angry woman, 32 year old Jemima McHunt, who told us “you’ve got...

Join The Rochdale Herald Newsletter

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Want to see the week's most popular Rochdale Herald articles? Please feel free to join our Newsletter mailing list. It takes a couple of seconds to sign up and even less time to unsubscribe if you...
Car parked over two spaces

Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse

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A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if I wasn't a bloke" Mark Ranley, from Doncaster, was criticised on...

Trump to take Twitter attacks on the road

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Donald Trump is to embark on a lengthy world tour in January, to ensure he can insult world leaders who don't follow him on Twitter. A White House spokesperson announced the news...

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