The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today.
A spokesman told us, “We first became aware of the attack when Jeremy announced he could no longer access his MySpace account. We looked into it and discovered his profile photo had changed along with several details. The Labour Party would like to categorically say that there is no truth in the rumour that Jeremy has formed an artistic collective with Gerry Adams. They do not drive around painting walls like some Irish nationalist Banksy.”
“Further, Jeremy will not be appearing on the X-Factor in a Drill duo with Gerry Adams. Nor have they teamed up with Stormzy to launch an anti-stab vest fashion label.”
The attack comes amid concerns about the possible influence of hackers on political parties in the upcoming election.
A Liberal Democrat spokesman said, “If only we could get hacked. Have you seen our online content? I think if we were hacked by ISIS it would only serve to improve our online content.”
A conservative Party member told us, “With our leadership it’s hard to see how anyone would be able to tell if we’d been hacked. The fact is we’re led by a man who probably send dick pics to housewives he’s met whilst out canvassing anyway. It would be kind of hard to tell if we’d been hacked.”
The Brexit Party also told us that they had been hacked however, the hackers plan back fired as most people accessing The Brexit Party website did so believing it was a marketplace for novelty Toby Jugs anyway.
Tom from MySpace contacted the Herald for an interview but frankly nobody was interested in talking to Tom from MySpace in 2005 so they’re definitely not going to be now. We politely declined the interview.