Two of Rochdale’s well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints of Carling.

Higglesworth, described in court as being of no fixed underpants, pleaded guilty to getting naked without due care and attention.

The spies,who can be named because let’s face it everyone knows who they are, were walking home after a clandestine meeting in a secret safe house (the snug in the Dog and Duck) after using their extensive spy training to take advantage of a “two meals for 9 quid” deal. As they approached Higglesworth he staggered towards them with an empty bottle in one hand and his pants in the other.

His solicitor told the court that in all fairness it had been snowing and it was “fucking baltic”.