Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 18.7.16/24.7.16

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Thanks to a weekend ripped to the tits on PCP, mescaline, cocaine and cheap speed, I have been enduring hideous hallucinations and nightmarish visions, so everyone's horoscopes for the week will be represented by...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 1.8.16/7.8.16

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Apologies for missing last week, but nothing interesting happened in your pathetic lives anyway. And I knew it wouldn't, so I felt I deserved some time off. Anyway, I'm sick of giving my powers...

This week’s front pages, at a glance

'Mr Shifty' Philip Green is exonerated of all wrongdoing when it transpires he is actually a seven year old boy. Forced to wear a pink frock and listen to the band McFly, he is...

David Davis to demand the EU forms the next UK government

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The first thing Brexiter David Davis will demand of the EU when Brexit discussions begin tomorrow morning will be to take over Britain and form the new UK government. This is a wise move given...

Herald’s Handy Handbooks For Ms May: The Gays and their Acronyms

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Theresa May says not to worry about DUP views on “LGB….what’s the rest of it?” The Prime Minister met the 1922 Committee of Conservative backbenchers amid controversy over the governments discussions with the Democratic Unionist...

Remembrance is about forcing poppies on sportsmen, not remembering, says patriot

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As November's dark days close in, the annual kerfuffle over who does or does not wear a poppy has erupted.   As usual this has been overdone. Remembrance now seeps backwards into October. Crowds...
Newcastle

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 6 Met Office alert after sighting...

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Next up in our countdown of the year's most popular articles is the second entry in the Top Ten from our Editor in Chief, Quentin D Fortesque. It's a little known fact but Quentin, or...
Francis Underwood

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 5 Fictional President held to higher...

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Taking fifth place in our countdown of 2017's most popular articles is this biting piece of social commentary from Johnny Wapping, the only dog we have on our staff. The Punning Pooch of...
Aunty Angela

Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner

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Dear Aunty Angela, I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...

Editorial – A light in the dark for stroke survivors

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Here at The Rochdale Herald we support several charities. One of those charities is Different Strokes the UK charity for younger stroke survivors. Today sees the launch of Different Strokes’ Light In The Dark campaign...
Big Ben

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 4 Big Ben to be renamed...

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Next up on our countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 comes a piece of gold from Charlie Stuart that even had a certain Hatie Hopkins foaming at the mouth. Award-winning journalist, British Olympic...
Mariah Carey

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown – Number 3 – Mariah Carey records shock cover...

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So here we are. We've reached the top three in our countdown of the ten most popular articles of 2017. Written by the mysterious Galatian, an ancient Roman soothsayer who sends his messages through time...

Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?

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Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring. ARIES - The discarded train ticket. You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...

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