Your sometimes weekly horoscopes…

Here are this week's horoscopes. Or are they next week's? Meh. It's all nonsense anyway... Aries Sometimes you might think people are out to get you. They are, you are being stalked and should be very,...

Racists shocked to learn that there are more than two religions

The revelation that there are more religions than just Christianity and Islam has caused mass outbreaks of shock and confusion among racists everywhere, it has been revealed. The existence of other religions such as Buddhism,...

This week’s Roboscopes with Mystic Rob. What does this week have in store?

Mystic Rob brings you your Roboscopes for the week ahead Aries - The hair in the plughole. On friday you will be confronted with a very difficult problem. The problem is so difficult that you...

Mystic Rob explains what the stars have in store for you this week

Our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" guides you through the week ahead. Aries - The Casio watch. You have trouble opening a new bottle of tomato ketchup on Tuesday. After a bit of...
Mariah Carey

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown – Number 3 – Mariah Carey records shock cover...

So here we are. We've reached the top three in our countdown of the ten most popular articles of 2017. Written by the mysterious Galatian, an ancient Roman soothsayer who sends his messages through time...
Francis Underwood

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 5 Fictional President held to higher...

Taking fifth place in our countdown of 2017's most popular articles is this biting piece of social commentary from Johnny Wapping, the only dog we have on our staff. The Punning Pooch of...
Newcastle

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 6 Met Office alert after sighting...

Next up in our countdown of the year's most popular articles is the second entry in the Top Ten from our Editor in Chief, Quentin D Fortesque. It's a little known fact but Quentin, or...
Buzz Aldrin

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 9 Buzz Aldrin says not punching...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of the year continues with this beauty from Francis Aston. Originally published on the 3rd of July and retweeted by none other than Nancy Sinatra,...

Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?

Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring. ARIES - The discarded train ticket. You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...
Trump Child

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 7 Department of Justice confirms that...

Continuing our countdown of the top ten most popular articles of 2017 is this expose from Henry Chinaski. Henry Chinaski is a professional drunk, jimmy-rustler and tramp. His interests include being miserable, making others miserable...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 8 Unemployed mother on benefits knocked...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 continues with this prime example of the art of satire by Quentin D Fortesque. Lord Quentin D Fortesque MDF.DFS.NVQ.GNT. is not only a...
Big Ben

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 4 Big Ben to be renamed...

Next up on our countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 comes a piece of gold from Charlie Stuart that even had a certain Hatie Hopkins foaming at the mouth. Award-winning journalist, British Olympic...

Herald’s Handy Handbooks For Ms May: The Gays and their Acronyms

Theresa May says not to worry about DUP views on “LGB….what’s the rest of it?” The Prime Minister met the 1922 Committee of Conservative backbenchers amid controversy over the governments discussions with the Democratic Unionist...

Fireproof cladding found for Westminster cover up

Following years of swingeing corner cutting, government officials anticipate further public outrage and blame as fallout from the Grenfell catastrophe. Luckily a magic money tree has been found to pay for the protective cladding to...

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