Mystic Rob explains what the stars have in store for you this week
Our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" guides you through the week ahead.
Aries - The Casio watch.
You have trouble opening a new bottle of tomato ketchup on Tuesday. After a bit of...
Couple thrilled by second baby have no understanding of its intentions yet
A couple thrilled by the safe arrival of their second baby have no idea of its intentions yet.
Nic and Cassie Novella already have a three year old daughter called Allopecia. They have been 'managing...
Remembrance is about forcing poppies on sportsmen, not remembering, says patriot
As November's dark days close in, the annual kerfuffle over who does or does not wear a poppy has erupted.
As usual this has been overdone. Remembrance now seeps backwards into October. Crowds...
Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?
Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring.
ARIES - The discarded train ticket.
You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...
Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...
The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM" is raided by the fuzz? Here's our top tips if...
Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner
Dear Aunty Angela,
I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...
Terrorist response strategy in disarray after meeting room mix up
Today's COBRA meeting had to be abandoned after it was discovered that Cabinet Office Briefing Room A had already been booked by Trevor from HR.
The HR meeting could not be moved because, by...
Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner
Dear Aunty Angela,
I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...
The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 8 Unemployed mother on benefits knocked...
The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 continues with this prime example of the art of satire by Quentin D Fortesque.
Lord Quentin D Fortesque MDF.DFS.NVQ.GNT. is not only a...
David Davis to demand the EU forms the next UK government
The first thing Brexiter David Davis will demand of the EU when Brexit discussions begin tomorrow morning will be to take over Britain and form the new UK government.
This is a wise move given...
This week’s Roboscopes with Mystic Rob. What does this week have in store?
Mystic Rob brings you your Roboscopes for the week ahead
Aries - The hair in the plughole.
On friday you will be confronted with a very difficult problem. The problem is so difficult that you...
The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 4 Big Ben to be renamed...
Next up on our countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 comes a piece of gold from Charlie Stuart that even had a certain Hatie Hopkins foaming at the mouth.
Award-winning journalist, British Olympic...
Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 1.8.16/7.8.16
Apologies for missing last week, but nothing interesting happened in your pathetic lives anyway. And I knew it wouldn't, so I felt I deserved some time off. Anyway, I'm sick of giving my powers...
Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 4.7.16/10.7.16
Aries
Beware people driving silver Vauxhaul Vectras early in the week - they mean you harm and will go out of their way to inflict serious injuries upon your person. Strike first if you can...
