Racists shocked to learn that there are more than two religions

The revelation that there are more religions than just Christianity and Islam has caused mass outbreaks of shock and confusion among racists everywhere, it has been revealed. The existence of other religions such as Buddhism,...

Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?

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Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring. ARIES - The discarded train ticket. You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 1.8.16/7.8.16

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Apologies for missing last week, but nothing interesting happened in your pathetic lives anyway. And I knew it wouldn't, so I felt I deserved some time off. Anyway, I'm sick of giving my powers...

Remembrance is about forcing poppies on sportsmen, not remembering, says patriot

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As November's dark days close in, the annual kerfuffle over who does or does not wear a poppy has erupted.   As usual this has been overdone. Remembrance now seeps backwards into October. Crowds...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 18.7.16/24.7.16

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Thanks to a weekend ripped to the tits on PCP, mescaline, cocaine and cheap speed, I have been enduring hideous hallucinations and nightmarish visions, so everyone's horoscopes for the week will be represented by...
Aunty Angela

Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner

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Dear Aunty Angela, I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 8 Unemployed mother on benefits knocked...

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The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 continues with this prime example of the art of satire by Quentin D Fortesque. Lord Quentin D Fortesque MDF.DFS.NVQ.GNT. is not only a...
Aunty Angela

Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner

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Dear Aunty Angela, I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...
Francis Underwood

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 5 Fictional President held to higher...

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Taking fifth place in our countdown of 2017's most popular articles is this biting piece of social commentary from Johnny Wapping, the only dog we have on our staff. The Punning Pooch of...

Your sometimes weekly horoscopes…

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Here are this week's horoscopes. Or are they next week's? Meh. It's all nonsense anyway... Aries Sometimes you might think people are out to get you. They are, you are being stalked and should be very,...
Trump Child

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 7 Department of Justice confirms that...

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Continuing our countdown of the top ten most popular articles of 2017 is this expose from Henry Chinaski. Henry Chinaski is a professional drunk, jimmy-rustler and tramp. His interests include being miserable, making others miserable...
New Year Eve Party

Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...

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The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM" is raided by the fuzz? Here's our top tips if...

David Davis to demand the EU forms the next UK government

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The first thing Brexiter David Davis will demand of the EU when Brexit discussions begin tomorrow morning will be to take over Britain and form the new UK government. This is a wise move given...
Mariah Carey

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown – Number 3 – Mariah Carey records shock cover...

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So here we are. We've reached the top three in our countdown of the ten most popular articles of 2017. Written by the mysterious Galatian, an ancient Roman soothsayer who sends his messages through time...
Big Ben

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 4 Big Ben to be renamed...

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Next up on our countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 comes a piece of gold from Charlie Stuart that even had a certain Hatie Hopkins foaming at the mouth. Award-winning journalist, British Olympic...

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