Newcastle

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 6 Met Office alert after sighting...

Next up in our countdown of the year's most popular articles is the second entry in the Top Ten from our Editor in Chief, Quentin D Fortesque. It's a little known fact but Quentin, or...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 2 – Prince Philip deemed fit...

At number two in our countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 is the second offering from our resident vegetable highwayman, Dick Turnip, to hit the top ten. Originally published on the 5th of...

Your sometimes weekly horoscopes…

Here are this week's horoscopes. Or are they next week's? Meh. It's all nonsense anyway... Aries Sometimes you might think people are out to get you. They are, you are being stalked and should be very,...

Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?

Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring. ARIES - The discarded train ticket. You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 8 Unemployed mother on benefits knocked...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 continues with this prime example of the art of satire by Quentin D Fortesque. Lord Quentin D Fortesque MDF.DFS.NVQ.GNT. is not only a...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 1.8.16/7.8.16

Apologies for missing last week, but nothing interesting happened in your pathetic lives anyway. And I knew it wouldn't, so I felt I deserved some time off. Anyway, I'm sick of giving my powers...

Couple thrilled by second baby have no understanding of its intentions yet

A couple thrilled by the safe arrival of their second baby have no idea of its intentions yet. Nic and Cassie Novella already have a three year old daughter called Allopecia. They have been 'managing...

Herald’s Handy Handbooks For Ms May: The Gays and their Acronyms

Theresa May says not to worry about DUP views on “LGB….what’s the rest of it?” The Prime Minister met the 1922 Committee of Conservative backbenchers amid controversy over the governments discussions with the Democratic Unionist...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 11.7.17/17.7.16

Aries ? A visit to the dentist will end in both oral and mental discomfort when you wake up early from the completely unnecessary anaesthetic to find him fondling you. The dentist will put this...
Trump Child

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 7 Department of Justice confirms that...

Continuing our countdown of the top ten most popular articles of 2017 is this expose from Henry Chinaski. Henry Chinaski is a professional drunk, jimmy-rustler and tramp. His interests include being miserable, making others miserable...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 20.6.16/26.6.16

Aries On Monday, dreamy Neptune makes it's annual journey through the choppy waters of Pisces and enters your twelfth house, so put aside any thoughts of socialising - otherwise you'll be bitterly disappointed and likely...

Remembrance is about forcing poppies on sportsmen, not remembering, says patriot

As November's dark days close in, the annual kerfuffle over who does or does not wear a poppy has erupted.   As usual this has been overdone. Remembrance now seeps backwards into October. Crowds...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 18.7.16/24.7.16

Thanks to a weekend ripped to the tits on PCP, mescaline, cocaine and cheap speed, I have been enduring hideous hallucinations and nightmarish visions, so everyone's horoscopes for the week will be represented by...

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