This week’s Roboscopes with Mystic Rob. What does this week have in store?

Mystic Rob brings you your Roboscopes for the week ahead Aries - The hair in the plughole. On friday you will be confronted with a very difficult problem. The problem is so difficult that you...

Mystic Rob explains what the stars have in store for you this week

Our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" guides you through the week ahead. Aries - The Casio watch. You have trouble opening a new bottle of tomato ketchup on Tuesday. After a bit of...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 20.6.16/26.6.16

Aries On Monday, dreamy Neptune makes it's annual journey through the choppy waters of Pisces and enters your twelfth house, so put aside any thoughts of socialising - otherwise you'll be bitterly disappointed and likely...
Trump Child

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 7 Department of Justice confirms that...

Continuing our countdown of the top ten most popular articles of 2017 is this expose from Henry Chinaski. Henry Chinaski is a professional drunk, jimmy-rustler and tramp. His interests include being miserable, making others miserable...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 11.7.17/17.7.16

Aries ? A visit to the dentist will end in both oral and mental discomfort when you wake up early from the completely unnecessary anaesthetic to find him fondling you. The dentist will put this...

Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?

Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring. ARIES - The discarded train ticket. You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...

Today’s Front Page Stories, at a glance

In a super top secret meeting that took place in Brussels back in June, Jude Law was named as Libya's most dangerous people smuggler. HMS Diamond has been dispatched by the British Navy to...

Couple thrilled by second baby have no understanding of its intentions yet

A couple thrilled by the safe arrival of their second baby have no idea of its intentions yet. Nic and Cassie Novella already have a three year old daughter called Allopecia. They have been 'managing...

This weeks front pages, at a glance

This weeks news, after a glance at the front pages... Ant and Dec secure trade deal with Australia ahead of 'Hard Brexit'. Tesco set to be first supermarket in UK to stock ostrich anus. Lags in...

David Davis to demand the EU forms the next UK government

The first thing Brexiter David Davis will demand of the EU when Brexit discussions begin tomorrow morning will be to take over Britain and form the new UK government. This is a wise move given...

Editorial – A light in the dark for stroke survivors

Here at The Rochdale Herald we support several charities. One of those charities is Different Strokes the UK charity for younger stroke survivors. Today sees the launch of Different Strokes’ Light In The Dark campaign...
Glastonbury

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Numero Uno – Glastonbury food vendors uproar...

So, here it is, Merry Christmas, everybody's having fun, hark The Rochdale Herald sings "Glory to Martin Luther King". Our Top Ten of the most popular articles of 2017 comes to a close with this...

This week’s front pages

100 BBC stars are to be anally probed as punishment for their historical sex crimes, in what the taxman is calling "Operation Free Lego Toy' As the value of the pound plummets, Clarkson is forced...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 18.7.16/24.7.16

Thanks to a weekend ripped to the tits on PCP, mescaline, cocaine and cheap speed, I have been enduring hideous hallucinations and nightmarish visions, so everyone's horoscopes for the week will be represented by...
Newcastle

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 6 Met Office alert after sighting...

Next up in our countdown of the year's most popular articles is the second entry in the Top Ten from our Editor in Chief, Quentin D Fortesque. It's a little known fact but Quentin, or...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 8 Unemployed mother on benefits knocked...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 continues with this prime example of the art of satire by Quentin D Fortesque. Lord Quentin D Fortesque MDF.DFS.NVQ.GNT. is not only a...

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