Aunty Angela

Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner

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Dear Aunty Angela, I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...
Mariah Carey

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown – Number 3 – Mariah Carey records shock cover...

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So here we are. We've reached the top three in our countdown of the ten most popular articles of 2017. Written by the mysterious Galatian, an ancient Roman soothsayer who sends his messages through time...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 10 “The Queen asks Merkel to...

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Kicking us off on our Christmas countdown of the top ten most popular Herald articles of the year is Dick Turnip with "The Queen asks Merkel to form a government". Dick had been working as...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 20.6.16/26.6.16

Aries On Monday, dreamy Neptune makes it's annual journey through the choppy waters of Pisces and enters your twelfth house, so put aside any thoughts of socialising - otherwise you'll be bitterly disappointed and likely...

Terrorist response strategy in disarray after meeting room mix up

Today's COBRA meeting had to be abandoned after it was discovered that Cabinet Office Briefing Room A had already been booked by Trevor from HR. The HR meeting could not be moved because, by...

Racists shocked to learn that there are more than two religions

The revelation that there are more religions than just Christianity and Islam has caused mass outbreaks of shock and confusion among racists everywhere, it has been revealed. The existence of other religions such as Buddhism,...

Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?

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Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring. ARIES - The discarded train ticket. You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...
Aunty Angela

Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner

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Dear Aunty Angela, I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...

Couple thrilled by second baby have no understanding of its intentions yet

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A couple thrilled by the safe arrival of their second baby have no idea of its intentions yet. Nic and Cassie Novella already have a three year old daughter called Allopecia. They have been 'managing...

Remembrance is about forcing poppies on sportsmen, not remembering, says patriot

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As November's dark days close in, the annual kerfuffle over who does or does not wear a poppy has erupted.   As usual this has been overdone. Remembrance now seeps backwards into October. Crowds...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 18.7.16/24.7.16

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Thanks to a weekend ripped to the tits on PCP, mescaline, cocaine and cheap speed, I have been enduring hideous hallucinations and nightmarish visions, so everyone's horoscopes for the week will be represented by...
Jacob Rees Mogg

Scary brexiteer “Mogo” revealed to be a hoax

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Jacob Rees-Mogg,known to the internet as "Mogo",the scary haunted Victorian doll,has been revealed to be a hoax. Pictures of Mogo have been popping up on various political media, with...
horoscopes

HorrorScopes

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Aries - The Dead Postman Things are looking up for you this week. You break your neck in a car crash on Wednesday. You will be in traction for months. Your lucky thing is the ceiling. Taurus...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 4.7.16/10.7.16

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Aries Beware people driving silver Vauxhaul Vectras early in the week - they mean you harm and will go out of their way to inflict serious injuries upon your person. Strike first if you can...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 1.8.16/7.8.16

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Apologies for missing last week, but nothing interesting happened in your pathetic lives anyway. And I knew it wouldn't, so I felt I deserved some time off. Anyway, I'm sick of giving my powers...

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