Features

Thanks to a weekend ripped to the tits on PCP, mescaline, cocaine and cheap speed, I have been enduring hideous hallucinations and nightmarish visions,...

Aries Beware people driving silver Vauxhaul Vectras early in the week - they mean you harm and will go out of their way to inflict...

So here we are. We've reached the top three in our countdown of the ten most popular articles of 2017. Written by the mysterious Galatian,...

Apologies for missing last week, but nothing interesting happened in your pathetic lives anyway. And I knew it wouldn't, so I felt I deserved...

Aries - The Dead Postman Things are looking up for you this week. You break your neck in a car crash on Wednesday. You will...

Next up in our countdown of the year's most popular articles is the second entry in the Top Ten from our Editor in Chief,...

Taking fifth place in our countdown of 2017's most popular articles is this biting piece of social commentary from Johnny Wapping, the only dog...

Next up on our countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 comes a piece of gold from Charlie Stuart that even had a...

Our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" guides you through the week ahead. Aries - The Casio watch. You have trouble opening a new bottle...

As November's dark days close in, the annual kerfuffle over who does or does not wear a poppy has erupted.   As usual this...

At number two in our countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 is the second offering from our resident vegetable highwayman, Dick Turnip,...

Dear Aunty Angela, I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires...

Aries The fall in the value of the pound is just the beginning of your financial woes this week - your pension provider will...