Dominic Raab has announced that Britain is set to sign a very lucrative tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein.

A Government spokesman said, “This is a very important deal we’ve signed. There’s every chance that the Government will have to increase taxes over the coming months. With that in mind it’s great to be able to announce this new deal. This will allow rich people to register for tax in Lichtenstein to avoid paying tax.”

Prominent Tory donor, Alexander Timoshenko-Shevchenko said, “This is a very important deal. It will allow me to move vast swathes of my wealth offshore into a series of shell companies. I will then reinvest this money into the Tory Party on the condition their policies continue to align with Russian foreign policy aims.”

Mr Raaab is also expected to announce the roll out of a new initiative to get people ready for Brexit. Called the “Bright new future initiative” the Government will encourage people to make more frequent trips to the job centre. A spokesman said, “Britain needs to fall back in love with the job centre. Don’t forget to wear a mask though. Although,  if you do get Coronavirus and die then you’ll be doing your bit for Britain. So maybe, don’t bother with the mask.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.