Health

People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS treatments as of Christmas 2020. "Obviously healthcare is going to be...

Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us, "It's great to see so many people out testing their...

The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use the same system that was designed in the 17th century...

All over Britain, McDonald's branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex factors interplaying that mean that a novel virus can spread...

Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire. According to the prominent YouTuber Hope L'Scase, long-term exposure to massive...

A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to develop cancer. 38 year old Bill Board told us that...

With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them. Will Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman? Harold Shipman killed between 250 and 300...

The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS. Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon Mr. Robin Hart said; "I like George Michael, don't get me...

The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain doubled to 8. A spokesman said, "When discussing the deadliness of...

The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated cases resulted in the death of sixteen members.  Problems seemed to...

Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part of its latest scheme to deflect attention away from its...

Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules, saying not to drink the stuff were removed by manufacturers. "Clearly...

The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently. Please read this information and act accordingly. DO NOT IGNORE this...

A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four hours on Saturday night. Mr Anthony Tonin from Milnrow told the...

NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ? "We needed someone who knows our Windows 95 computer system inside out" said...

The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.