Bunk Beds

Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds

0
Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...
Grooming

New male grooming products launched

0
Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

0
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

0
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Doctors

Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits

0
The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...

NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism

0
The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
Man in Waiting Room

A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...

0
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...

World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu

0
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.

Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits

0
Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.

London Motorists furious that cyclists lives might be saved

0
London drivers are currently outraged at London mayor Sadiq Khan's plans to reduce cyclists deaths. "Over half of cyclist deaths in the capital involve construction...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

26
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...
Snake

Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes

0
A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man. "I get that being mortal is terrifying...
Glass of orange juice

The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy

0
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and  immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...

Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.

1
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...
Mike Pence

Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence

0
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...

NHS admit to clicking ‘remind me later’ on McAfee update for seven years straight

0
NHS digital has come under fire from computer security professionals; as an investigation into yesterday's Malware virus has revealed NHS used McAfee and hadn't updated it...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts