Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror

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A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today. “Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...

Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men

21
A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men. Although...

21,000 additional mental health workers unnecessary if Jeremy Hunt used his real name

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“Imagine if you could call that overbearing parent a proper Jeremy Hunt to their face? And you could do it all your life? Just get that stress out before it builds into an illness that blights your life.”
Nurses

Stressed nurses sick of sick people

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Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

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POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

12
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.

Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat

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For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.
Cross Eyed Man

The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...

8
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred. The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
Drug paraphernalia

Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users

3
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver. Nathan...

Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...

0
A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and...
Hospital

Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt

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Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt. The...

Evil Tory bastards sign off on pay increase for 1.3 million NHS workers

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Over a million NHS staff including front line nurses and paramedics are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.

NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers. 

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NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ? "We needed someone...
Ebola

‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola

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In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...

Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.

1
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...

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