Jacob Rees-Mogg announces plan for every UK baby to have his DNA by 2040
This is a key policy behind Rees-Mogg's bid for the Conservative party leadership.
According to leaked documents, he is going to take his cue from...
British Homeopathy Association to strike over watered down labelling
The British Homeopathy Association has announced a planned strike over government plans to label their medication as being ‘useless’.
The head of the British Homeopathic Association...
Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.
New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt
As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale...
NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows.
According...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
I’m not against loonies, I gave Boris a job says May
A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May's office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was...
George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.
Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Creator of Sitcom-Only Medical Procedure Heimlichs Out
US doctor Henry Heimlich, who invented the manoeuvre used to help victims of choking, has died aged 96.
Dr Heimlich died at a hospital in...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...
The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service.
Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...
May announces bed sharing and brunch in effort to save NHS
The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety...
