analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

1
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

20
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.

NHS declares tap water is much more cost effective than homeopathy

0
The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision. NHS spokesperson Dr Gary...

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

0
NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
Grooming

New male grooming products launched

0
Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men...
Cross Eyed Man

The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...

8
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred. The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

0
Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
Hospital

Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail

0
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...

Goveid-19 now ‘out of control’ in UK.

0
A new, highly infectious virus - Goveid-19 - has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed. Goveid-19 was...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

0
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...

Which filthy johnny foreigner should you blame for Covid-19?

0
All over Britain, McDonald's branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex...

STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances

0
Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.  In an...

Tory superbug found in pigs

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A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...

Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date

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A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date. Police told the Herald that...
Overweight

Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym

0
An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care...
Katie Hopkins

Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder

6
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...

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