The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...
A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and...
Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
Stickupthearseitis
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.
Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer
A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics
A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...
The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred.
The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots
Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots.
In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...
Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym
An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care...
Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...
“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered
With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them.
Will Coronavirus be as...
Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France
Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...
Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly
Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.
The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
