5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...
Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet
Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report.
Commissioned by a...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze
The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned.
The initiative, the budget...
Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds
Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...
Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.
Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin
International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...
Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...
Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...
In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.
Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt
The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
