Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet

0
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

0
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

1
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Katie Hopkins

Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder

6
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

0
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Tory

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

0
The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...

Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike 

0
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...
Doctors

NHS struggling as electorate shoots itself in the other foot

0
With the General Election all done bar the shouting, cut-stricken NHS emergency departments are struggling this morning after 43% of the nation shot itself...

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

0
Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...
Vegetables

Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover

0
Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown. Researchers were observing the effect...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

0
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men

21
A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men. Although...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

26
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

Thousands come together for eye testing

0
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us,...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

0
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

0
Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...

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