Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date

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A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date. Police told the Herald that...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

26
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

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High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The...
Man Bun

Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases

17
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
Green

Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers

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Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...

Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...

0
In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.  Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
Theresa May

Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day

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Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe. Mrs May...

Littlest Hobo declared fit for work by ATOS

0
Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they? Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

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A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...

Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror

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A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today. “Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...

Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees

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The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.

Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...

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Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

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Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...

Doctors desperately hoping Rees Mogg falls ill

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Following Jacob Rees-Mogg's bullying tirade on a doctor who dared challenge his smug assertions on talk radio, many people have challenged the pusillanimous human...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
NHS

Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly

0
Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...

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