Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers
Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week.
The decision comes in a week...
George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.
Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
Stoner Relieved Global Conspiracy to Crush the Poor Not Just Weed-Induced Paranoia
Danny Moss, 41, of Milnrow happily cancelled his upcoming trip to the psychiatrist after finally concluding that there really is a shadowy cabal trying to take...
Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”
Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...
Daily Express reveal AIDS originally created by Corbyn as anti-Tory bio-weapon
Ground-breaking new research by Daily Express reveals Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, created a modern day plague in league with the IRA
As we all know,...
NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs
Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning.
The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to...
New male grooming products launched
Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men...
Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits
The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...
NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows.
According...
Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...
High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...
Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...
In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.
Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds
Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...
‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
