Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
Nutters shouldn’t be stigmatised says Theresa May
The hidden injustice of mental illness is something that Tories really care about, claims the woman who heads a party that has cut mental...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS
The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently.
Please...
One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet
Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report.
Commissioned by a...
Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...
High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...
Health scare over psychotic illness which only infects BMW OWNERS!!!
Doctors at Central Rochdale Asylum for Psychosis have issued a health warning over a virus which only infects BMW owners. Doctors have, however, begun...
New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt
As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale...
Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather.
John Welsby...
Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes
A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man.
"I get that being mortal is terrifying...
Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives
A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
Man begins month long quest to get fit
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
Disaster as it’s revealed Government only has enough Care badges for 1 in 5...
Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part...
Women seeking cosmetic surgery to make their genitals look like Michael Gove
The Labia Party have announced new plans to make vaginal cosmetic surgery available on the NHS. The announcement follows news that millions of women...
Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees
The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.
