High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money compared to trying to find an affordable family holiday during August.
“We are doing people a big favour” Chief Executive Bob Percival said in a prepared press statement. “As a small villa in Alicante with shared use of a pool costs upwards of £17,000 a minute during the school holidays, parents cannot be expected to bear the burden of additional children.”
“Everyone knows that you can spend a fortnight in a six bedroom mansion for tuppence ha’penny as long as you go during term time, so paying twenty five quid for the morning after pill is an absolute bargain in the longer term. When you think about it, we’re doing you a favour.”
The Association of British Travel Agents, or Rip Off Merchants for short, were quick to counter the claims that the morning-after pill should be made more affordable, and even available without consultation.
“The issue here is women’s health, obviously. If anything the morning-after pill should be much more expensive. In fact it should be more expensive than a half-board sun and sand Thomson’s package tour for four including adjoining rooms and kid’s club membership. Women should be encouraged to make sensible choices, anything else would be irresponsible.”
Parent’s groups across the country were quick to add their voices to the argument with the Chairman of Tired and Stressed Dad’s for Levonelle telling one reporter.
“It really is time the price of these pills came down, if I have another kid I won’t be able to afford to go skiing again until 2035 at the earliest.”
When asked couldn’t he just have vasectomy or “wear some wellies” he just looked at us blankly, blinked, muttered something about choice and quietly left.