NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

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The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...

Health scare over psychotic illness which only infects BMW OWNERS!!!

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Doctors at Central Rochdale Asylum for Psychosis have issued a health warning over a virus which only infects BMW owners. Doctors have, however, begun...

5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic

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Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire. According...

IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS

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The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently. Please...

Creator of Sitcom-Only Medical Procedure Heimlichs Out

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US doctor Henry Heimlich, who invented the manoeuvre used to help victims of choking, has died aged 96. Dr Heimlich died at a hospital in...

21,000 additional mental health workers unnecessary if Jeremy Hunt used his real name

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“Imagine if you could call that overbearing parent a proper Jeremy Hunt to their face? And you could do it all your life? Just get that stress out before it builds into an illness that blights your life.”

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

“NHS crisis just preparation for the zombie apocalypse and everyone should be grateful” says...

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The underfunding and imminent collapse of the NHS is due to a little known government policy on the zombie apocalypse sources have revealed. Zombiepreppers...

World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu

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Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.

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