20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer

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A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

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"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS

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Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert...
Rochdale paramedics

Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie

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Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

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In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...

Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.

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Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter. A regular at Rochdale's...

IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS

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The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently. Please...
Green

Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers

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Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...

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