Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious Tweeting.
The runty Rottweiler once fronted the Poundland version of Take That back in the 90s. His first attempt at cool went badly wrong when he admitted popping Es to the nation on a live radio program following the death of Leah Betts.
Not to be outdone by himself, in 2005 he actually ran himself over in his own car. He claimed at the time it had been caused by a baked potato covered in tuna mayonnaise and cheese.
His career since then has been a series of dwindling local appearances in desolate windswept pub sets in between Karaoke and Wednesday night pub quizzes.
In this latest own goal, Mr Harvey allegedly sent himself offensive communications via himself on his own Twitter account in a last ditch attempt to grab attention.
People close to him say he has locked himself in his room. One concerned neighbour told us:
“He’s been in there for days. I caught sight of him through his keyhole. He was sat on the floor, rocking back and forth muttering ‘all right, all right, everything is going to be all right, all right, all right, it’s really all right, ahahaha! ahahaha!’
“We’re really worried, we’ve been sliding 12 inch pizzas under his door all week but it scrapes the toppings off and my dog just gobbles it off the floor. Instead of eating the bread bases he’s been trying to play them on his old record decks.”
The police have yet to make any further announcements pending further investigation.
We will of course update you on any further developments in this tragic story.