Bunk Beds

Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds

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Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...

STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances

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Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.  In an...
homeopath

NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%

Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS. After winning the right...
Vegetables

Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover

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Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown. Researchers were observing the effect...

NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs

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Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning. The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...

21,000 additional mental health workers unnecessary if Jeremy Hunt used his real name

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“Imagine if you could call that overbearing parent a proper Jeremy Hunt to their face? And you could do it all your life? Just get that stress out before it builds into an illness that blights your life.”
Boris Johnson

“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze

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The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned. The initiative, the budget...

NHS Complimentary Medicine Services near collapse

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The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse. Since the vote...

IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS

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The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently. Please...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

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The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

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The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet

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Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report. Commissioned by a...

Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking

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A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt. This seemingly controversial move actually...

Tory superbug found in pigs

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A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...

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