Health

Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one hospital in Surrey with Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt hailing it...

A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen Bowers, 19, has been handing out leaflets around Rochdale in...

A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May's office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was not entirely sincere in her public drive to tackle mental...

Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules, saying not to drink the stuff were removed by manufacturers. "Clearly...

Over a million NHS staff including front line nurses and paramedics are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.

The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and Flowers, a clinic located on a small islet off the...

The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as well as ensuring 50,000 more coats for sick children to...

Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area. Tracy has been a long time 'Anti Vaxxer', meaning that she is strongly against vaccination...

NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on the assumption that Hunt was a particularly pernicious form of malware,"...

Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious Tweeting. The runty Rottweiler once fronted the Poundland version of...

The hidden injustice of mental illness is something that Tories really care about, claims the woman who heads a party that has cut mental health provisioning back so far you can see its bone...

There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve from the giant ice shelf that is the rest of...

A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire and being a twat in the comment sections. “I have suffered...

Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us, "It's great to see so many people out testing their...

Ground-breaking new research by Daily Express reveals Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, created a modern day plague in league with the IRA As we all know, the State is an imposition.  Taxes are theft with the...

Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his hairy chest with his fists and foaming at the mouth...