Health scare over psychotic illness which only infects BMW OWNERS!!!
Doctors at Central Rochdale Asylum for Psychosis have issued a health warning over a virus which only infects BMW owners. Doctors have, however, begun...
Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly
Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.
The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...
Smug twat who gave up smoking for New Year has no friends left
New depths of smugness have been plumbed by a man in Clitheroe who gave up smoking on the 1st of January.
Tomothy Morning-Wood, who had...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’
The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today.
Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...
Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes
A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man.
"I get that being mortal is terrifying...
Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
NHS declares tap water is much more cost effective than homeopathy
The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision.
NHS spokesperson Dr Gary...
George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.
Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”
Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...
STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances
Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.
In an...
