Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range
Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror
A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today.
“Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...
Doctor of Medicine degree to be replaced with Google
A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto.
The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees
The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.
Virus tests increase to 1 million a day as Matt Hancock includes tests he’s...
The UK government has announced that Covid-19 testing has now far surpassed the target figure, coming in at 1 million a day.
Health Secretary, Matt...
US replaces health insurance with crossed fingers, hoping and prayer
There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare...
NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
Chris Witty signs lucrative sponsorship deal with Andrex toilet paper
Chris Witty has shocked fans around the world after signing a multi-million pound, multi-decade deal to become the new face of Andrex bog roll.
The...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Nutters shouldn’t be stigmatised says Theresa May
The hidden injustice of mental illness is something that Tories really care about, claims the woman who heads a party that has cut mental...
Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.
Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter.
A regular at Rochdale's...
NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs
Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning.
The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to...
Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover
Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown.
Researchers were observing the effect...
