Tory superbug found in pigs

0
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...
Nurses

Stressed nurses sick of sick people

0
Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...

Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts

0
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

0
POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

26
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

1
Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...

Goveid-19 now ‘out of control’ in UK.

0
A new, highly infectious virus - Goveid-19 - has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed. Goveid-19 was...
George Michael

George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’

0
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS. Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...

NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project

0
In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...
Tour de France

Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France

0
Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

0
NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

12
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

0
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

0
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

0
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Mike Pence

Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence

0
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts