Bunk Beds

Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds

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Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...
Hospital

Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt

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Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt. The...

Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees

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The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.
Mike Pence

US replaces health insurance with crossed fingers, hoping and prayer

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There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare...
NHS

Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly

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Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
nurses

Nurses threaten to go on saving lives if public sector pay cap isn’t removed

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Nurses have upped the ante with the Government by sensationally threatening to continue to act in a professional fashion in their ongoing dispute over...

Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms

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Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney".  Claiming to...

Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...

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A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and...

Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...

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Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg announces plan for every UK baby to have his DNA by 2040

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This is a key policy behind Rees-Mogg's bid for the Conservative party leadership. According to leaked documents, he is going to take his cue from...

Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS

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Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

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In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...

Disaster as it’s revealed Government only has enough Care badges for 1 in 5...

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Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part...
Doctor and Child

Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”

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Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...
Rochdale paramedics

Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie

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Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...

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