Nurses

Stressed nurses sick of sick people

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Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts

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Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.

Britain’s Children Rejoice as Broccoli Rationed

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Playgrounds and schools all over the country were full of joyous celebration as Britain's children heard that Broccoli has been rationed. "Fabbolishus!", declared Ryan Whingeing...
Vegetables

Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover

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Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown. Researchers were observing the effect...

Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives

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A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
anti-vaxxer

My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer

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Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area. Tracy has been a long...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

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A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...
Diabetes

Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’

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The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes. The results found that...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

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Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

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A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...
Supermarket

Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range

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Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

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Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...

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