Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym
An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits
The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...
Nutters shouldn’t be stigmatised says Theresa May
The hidden injustice of mental illness is something that Tories really care about, claims the woman who heads a party that has cut mental...
IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS
The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently.
Please...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis
Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement" at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.
Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits
Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.
Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours
Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...
Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers
Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade.
It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar
POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer
Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area.
Tracy has been a long...
Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots
Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots.
In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...
