Coronavirus equals UK mortality rate of Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool
The Government has announced that as many people in the UK have died from Coronavirus as have been found dead in Michael Barrymore's swimming...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre assessors
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff.
The move has come under heavy criticism...
Chris Witty signs lucrative sponsorship deal with Andrex toilet paper
Chris Witty has shocked fans around the world after signing a multi-million pound, multi-decade deal to become the new face of Andrex bog roll.
The...
Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle.
Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
Doctors desperately hoping Rees Mogg falls ill
Following Jacob Rees-Mogg's bullying tirade on a doctor who dared challenge his smug assertions on talk radio, many people have challenged the pusillanimous human...
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Smug twat who gave up smoking for New Year has no friends left
New depths of smugness have been plumbed by a man in Clitheroe who gave up smoking on the 1st of January.
Tomothy Morning-Wood, who had...
E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’
E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found.
The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...
NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows.
According...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...
The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%
Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS.
After winning the right...
Tory superbug found in pigs
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...
