Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits
The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Jacob Rees-Mogg announces plan for every UK baby to have his DNA by 2040
This is a key policy behind Rees-Mogg's bid for the Conservative party leadership.
According to leaked documents, he is going to take his cue from...
George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.
Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...
The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows.
According...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes
A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man.
"I get that being mortal is terrifying...
Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS
The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently.
Please...
UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies
Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires.
The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
Goveid-19 now ‘out of control’ in UK.
A new, highly infectious virus - Goveid-19 - has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed.
Goveid-19 was...
Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver.
Nathan...
