UK moves to a pocket full of posies phase of Coronavirus plan

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The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use...

Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued

9
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
Man in Waiting Room

A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...

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A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...

Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives

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A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

1
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...

Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...

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The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
Tour de France

Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France

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Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...

Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike 

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Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...

Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears

7
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

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Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...

Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...

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In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.  Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
Theresa May

Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

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The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...
Michael Gove

Women seeking cosmetic surgery to make their genitals look like Michael Gove

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The Labia Party have announced new plans to make vaginal cosmetic surgery available on the NHS. The announcement follows news that millions of women...

Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists

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We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects. “The...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

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The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...

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