Following Jacob Rees-Mogg’s bullying tirade on a doctor who dared challenge his smug assertions on talk radio, many people have challenged the pusillanimous human cockroach to repeat his comments outside the house where he would not benefit from immunity to slander laws.
Despite his apology, of Father Jack-like sincerity, doctors nationwide have expressed a fond desire to be the medical professional in charge should Rees Mogg fall ill.
“I’d administer the Victorian treatment of anal leeches to the lanky stream of pus.” said Dr Drake Lamoray at Kensington Hospital For Toffs yesterday.
“Liberally doused with disinfectant such as chilli powder. Or some form of invasive unlubricated colonic probe. You need a proper run-up for those. I am a dedicated doctor, committed to the ethics of my calling. But in this one case, Hippocrates can get to fuck.”
However Mr Rees-Mogg’s personal physician Sir Kenneth Moore said there was little chance of his client falling sick.
“He had a top up of embalming fluid in 1953 so should be good for another 30-40 years yet. He last fell ill in 1888 in Whitechapel when he had five separate cases of syphilis. However he told my great great grandfather that he had ‘taken care’ of the sources of his infections.”
