Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules, saying not to drink the stuff were removed by manufacturers.

“Clearly this is a victory for the common man.” Jacob Rees-Mogg, Head of the British Bleach Drinkers Association, told the Rochdale Herald while enjoying a cup of Domestos on the terrace of his London mansion.

“We voted to be free of the shackles of the European Union and are now free to do things like drink household chemicals and not mind the gap.”

“Are you sure I can’t interest you in a cup of bleach, it’s lemon flavoured?”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.