NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers. 

0
NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ? "We needed someone...
Tory

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

0
The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...
Grooming

New male grooming products launched

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Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men...
nurses

Nurses threaten to go on saving lives if public sector pay cap isn’t removed

1
Nurses have upped the ante with the Government by sensationally threatening to continue to act in a professional fashion in their ongoing dispute over...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

0
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets

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Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...

Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.

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Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter. A regular at Rochdale's...

Stoner Relieved Global Conspiracy to Crush the Poor Not Just Weed-Induced Paranoia

0
Danny Moss, 41, of Milnrow happily cancelled his upcoming trip to the psychiatrist after finally concluding that there really is a shadowy cabal trying to take...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

0
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

3
A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...
Doctors

You can’t lock up surgeons for behaving like sociopaths, we’d have none left rules...

0
The NHS breathed a deep sigh of relief today after Judge Ian Pringle QC ruled that you can't send surgeons to prison just for behaving like coked up sociopaths.
Theresa May

Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day

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Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe. Mrs May...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

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It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...
Ebola

‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola

11
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...

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