Health

The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety nightmare. The Prime Minister has issued another five-point plan...

80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and  immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused by a severe vitamin C deficiency that commonly affected pirates...

A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an isolation unit in Rochdale. NHS Rochdale has confirmed that the racism...

Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function" as a common factor amongst many footballers who, the study...

Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his hairy chest with his fists and foaming at the mouth...

A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four hours on Saturday night. Mr Anthony Tonin from Milnrow told the...

The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS. Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon Mr. Robin Hart said; "I like George Michael, don't get me...

Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average pay, according to the Rochdale Nursing Council.    "Since hospitals have...

In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the blame for its deadly effects onto people. The virus, which was...

POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser M.D. has been appointed. In a 5 hour rambling announcement POTATUS...

Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.

A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire and being a twat in the comment sections. “I have suffered...

Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception of the NHS. The proposal will see the busy hospital...

The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General Hospital. "There must be a connection with the referendum," Dr Bubiz...

Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt. The incident first started when patients began to feel nauseous. Dr...

The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned. The initiative, the budget for which totals almost that of the entire NHS England...