Boris Johnson

“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze

0
The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned. The initiative, the budget...
Boots

Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...

0
High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...

Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.

1
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...

Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date

0
A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date. Police told the Herald that...

Health scare over psychotic illness which only infects BMW OWNERS!!!

0
Doctors at Central Rochdale Asylum for Psychosis have issued a health warning over a virus which only infects BMW owners. Doctors have, however, begun...
Mike Pence

US replaces health insurance with crossed fingers, hoping and prayer

0
There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare...

London Motorists furious that cyclists lives might be saved

0
London drivers are currently outraged at London mayor Sadiq Khan's plans to reduce cyclists deaths. "Over half of cyclist deaths in the capital involve construction...

Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives

0
A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
Katie Hopkins

Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder

6
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
Hospital

If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt

0
The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

0
Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
Man in Waiting Room

A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...

0
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

0
International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

0
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet

0
Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report. Commissioned by a...

Thousands come together for eye testing

0
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us,...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts