Tour de France

Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France

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Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet

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Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report. Commissioned by a...

Homeopathy shop closed after vegan snake oil found to contain old wives tails

8
A Rochdale homeopathy shop has been forced to close this week after it was discovered to be selling vegan snake oil containing old wives...
Man Bun

Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases

17
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...
NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

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The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...

World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu

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Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

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Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...

21,000 additional mental health workers unnecessary if Jeremy Hunt used his real name

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“Imagine if you could call that overbearing parent a proper Jeremy Hunt to their face? And you could do it all your life? Just get that stress out before it builds into an illness that blights your life.”
Hippy shit

Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally

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With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Drug paraphernalia

Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users

3
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver. Nathan...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...
Doctor

Doctor of Medicine degree to be replaced with Google

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A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto. The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers...

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