NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day
Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe.
Mrs May...
Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows.
According...
Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Evil Tory bastards sign off on pay increase for 1.3 million NHS workers
Over a million NHS staff including front line nurses and paramedics are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.
A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...
Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...
The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
Stoner Relieved Global Conspiracy to Crush the Poor Not Just Weed-Induced Paranoia
Danny Moss, 41, of Milnrow happily cancelled his upcoming trip to the psychiatrist after finally concluding that there really is a shadowy cabal trying to take...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly
Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.
The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
