Diabetes

Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’

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The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes. The results found that...
Doctors

NHS struggling as electorate shoots itself in the other foot

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With the General Election all done bar the shouting, cut-stricken NHS emergency departments are struggling this morning after 43% of the nation shot itself...

Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men

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A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men. Although...
Nurses

Stressed nurses sick of sick people

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Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...
Boots

Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...

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High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

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"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...

Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike 

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Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...

Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat

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For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.

Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold

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A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

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High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The...
Supermarket

Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range

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Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
Mike Pence

Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence

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The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

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A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...

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