‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists
We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects.
“The...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
Britain’s Children Rejoice as Broccoli Rationed
Playgrounds and schools all over the country were full of joyous celebration as Britain's children heard that Broccoli has been rationed.
"Fabbolishus!", declared Ryan Whingeing...
You can’t lock up surgeons for behaving like sociopaths, we’d have none left rules...
The NHS breathed a deep sigh of relief today after Judge Ian Pringle QC ruled that you can't send surgeons to prison just for behaving like coked up sociopaths.
Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...
Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat
For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.
Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees
The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.
May announces bed sharing and brunch in effort to save NHS
The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety...
Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car
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With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends.
Each year the RSPCA...
Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking
A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt.
This seemingly controversial move actually...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Husband fails to avoid loaded question
A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...
A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and...
Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety.
A spokesperson for Meadows and...
NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
