Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...
High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym
An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care...
Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’
The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today.
Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...
Tory superbug found in pigs
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...
Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees
The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.
Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives
A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
NHS Complimentary Medicine Services near collapse
The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse.
Since the vote...
Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney". Claiming to...
Smug twat who gave up smoking for New Year has no friends left
New depths of smugness have been plumbed by a man in Clitheroe who gave up smoking on the 1st of January.
Tomothy Morning-Wood, who had...
My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer
Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area.
Tracy has been a long...
E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’
E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found.
The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...
Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...
