Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits
The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.
NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%
Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS.
After winning the right...
Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
NHS Complimentary Medicine Services near collapse
The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse.
Since the vote...
Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold
A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...
Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds
Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly
Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.
The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics
A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
