20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer
A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver.
Nathan...
Coronavirus equals UK mortality rate of Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool
The Government has announced that as many people in the UK have died from Coronavirus as have been found dead in Michael Barrymore's swimming...
Nutters shouldn’t be stigmatised says Theresa May
The hidden injustice of mental illness is something that Tories really care about, claims the woman who heads a party that has cut mental...
Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety.
A spokesperson for Meadows and...
Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...
Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking
A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt.
This seemingly controversial move actually...
Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
NHS struggling as electorate shoots itself in the other foot
With the General Election all done bar the shouting, cut-stricken NHS emergency departments are struggling this morning after 43% of the nation shot itself...
Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...
Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots
Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots.
In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis
Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement" at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
Scientists confounded after man who left coat on still felt the benefit
Scientists around the globe are reeling this afternoon after a Rochdale man who didn’t take his coat off this morning still felt the benefit of wearing a coat when he went outside for a cigarette this afternoon.
