Health

With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them. Will Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman? Harold Shipman killed between 250 and 300...

Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown. Researchers were observing the effect of peeling potatoes on levels of starch in fried wedges,...

People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows. According to the report people with two legs are almost 90%...

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from everyone to sod off and die, Mr Hunt has today...

Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.

NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ? "We needed someone who knows our Windows 95 computer system inside out" said...

The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will effect NHS services in any way, shape or form and...

Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception of the NHS. The proposal will see the busy hospital...

Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert Cratchitt, has condemned the decision, insisting his son's age and...

Rochdalians are being reminded today that having a deep pan 16 inch spicy meat special doesn't count as following a Mediterranean diet- even if you've preceded it with 12 bottles of San Miguel.  The reminder...

A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's food supply via pork, tests have revealed. "This particular variant is...

A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly toned and healthy condition. Happily now surrounded by pizza boxes...

Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his hairy chest with his fists and foaming at the mouth...

A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today. “Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin this great nation,” said Trump's gob piece, Sean Spicer, “and...

The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as well as ensuring 50,000 more coats for sick children to...

Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter what expensive treatment you and your insurers can personally afford...