Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours
Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...
Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project
In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...
Stickupthearseitis
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.
Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt
As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale...
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
Stressed nurses sick of sick people
Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...
Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror
A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today.
“Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly
Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.
The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men
A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men.
Although...
Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...
In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.
Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney". Claiming to...


















































