May announces bed sharing and brunch in effort to save NHS
The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety...
Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range
Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Nutters shouldn’t be stigmatised says Theresa May
The hidden injustice of mental illness is something that Tories really care about, claims the woman who heads a party that has cut mental...
Disaster as it’s revealed Government only has enough Care badges for 1 in 5...
Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards.
The well-known website which describes itself as a "salute...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
British Homeopathy Association to strike over watered down labelling
The British Homeopathy Association has announced a planned strike over government plans to label their medication as being ‘useless’.
The head of the British Homeopathic Association...
A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...
My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer
Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area.
Tracy has been a long...
UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies
Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires.
The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.
Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter.
A regular at Rochdale's...
Stickupthearseitis
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.
Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
